Excess, exhibitionism on Rich Kids app

To open the new social network Rich Kids is to induce a bout of FOMO — fear of missing out — from which you’ll never wake. The paid Instagram knock-off is an orgy of excess: Dog massages. Lamborghinis. Stacks of gold coins. Private planes.

For the low, low price of $1,200 per month, Rich Kids promises the 1 percent of the 1 percent an exclusive, virtual club designed just for them — a place where anyone can view pictures, but only the uber-rich can publish them.

It has also attracted a great deal of condemnation — even from the Apple App Store, which pulled Rich Kids recently.

Emir Bahadir is one of the first members of Rich Kids, and he doesn’t see what’s wrong with the app. The 25-year-old heir to a Turkish real estate fortune, Bahadir basically sees $1,200 the way I see the spare change at the bottom of my bag. He takes my phone call from his Bentley, which he’s driving to his brand-new real estate firm in Manhattan.

Bahadir has always been active on Instagram — he claims to have joined the site to post travel photos not long after it was introduced. So he saw no reason not to join a new app called Rich Kids when one of its founders, Chief Executive Juraj Ivan, tentatively reached out.

“This is my life,” Bahadir says. “My dog, my plane. I don’t do it for social media.”

But also: “My brand is a luxury brand.”

There are things you don’t see on Rich Kids: no “haul videos” (showing off goods from a shopping spree), no #blessed posts, absolutely no “food porn.” Those sorts of subtle class performances are for the plebeians, the ones not yet rich enough to do away with decorum. Social media may have democratized the means of conspicuousness — but the wealthy have, and likely always will, own the best objects of consumption.

Part of Ivan’s motivation for starting Rich Kids was to separate the boring capitalist antics of the bourgeoisie from the more impressive Instagram posturing of the super-rich. Since 2012, Instagram’s upper crust has used the hashtag #RKOI to flag their extravagant displays of wealth — but over time, it has gotten far less exclusive.

“The problem with a hashtag,” the 28-year-old quips, “is that anyone can use it.”

Unfortunately for Ivan and the Rich Kids, Apple abruptly pulled Rich Kids from its multibillion dollar iOS market.