Schools welcome parents for lunch interaction with kids
BENTONVILLE — Bentonville’s Willowbrook Elementary School bustles with more than 900 students in kindergarten through fourth grade.
The school’s lunch periods from 10:30 a.m. to 1 p.m. attract even more people. Between 40 and 45 parents join their children for lunch on a typical day, according to Principal Cindy Dewey.
Dewey said parents never came to school when she was a kid except for special events like a concert or for conferences with teachers. These days, it’s common to see parents eating with their kids, particularly at elementary schools.
“Parents coming for lunch can be a positive thing for them and the child,” Dewey wrote in an email. “We encourage parents not to come every day so their child can have that social time with their classmates. The majority of our parents agree and honor that request.”
Julie Anderson has five children in the Bentonville School District, including two at Willowbrook. She and her husband showed up at the school Feb. 3 to eat and spend time with their kids — kindergartener Mia, 5, and second-grader Mark, 8.
Anderson has lunch at school once every couple of months or so, usually as a surprise for her children. Mia’s excitement at seeing her in the hall almost caused Anderson to tear up, she said.
“She doesn’t typically come home from school excited to see me, because it’s just your daily routine. But this is something out of the ordinary,” Anderson said.
The time she spends with her kids during their school lunch is different from time spent with them at home, she said.
“At home there’s always the pressure of, I should be cleaning or cooking or doing something,” she said. “Here they have my undivided attention. They tend to open up and talk more because they’re so excited I’m here and none of their siblings are around. They have my attention versus trying to talk over their older siblings.”
Once they reach middle school, however, her kids generally stop getting excited about seeing her for lunch. At that point, they’re mainly interested in the food she can bring them from a restaurant.
“My sixth-grader wants the food. He doesn’t want me there,” she said.
Middle schools do see parents for lunch, too — not as many as the elementaries do. Jason Brunner, interim principal at Bentonville’s Old High Middle School, estimated between three and 10 parents have lunch at the school each day.
“It’s a good opportunity to build relationships with our parents. It’s not a burden to our building at all,” Brunner said.
Jackie Carter said he learns more about his son Kenny’s day at school when he joins him for lunch, which he does every Friday. Kenny, 6, is in kindergarten at Willowbrook.
“Mainly I just find out more about his day, because normally by the time he gets home, after I get off work, when I ask him about his day, he gives me like one or two words, whereas it’s more fresh on his mind right now,” Carter said while sitting with his son in the cafeteria.
Kenny, when asked what he
thought about his father joining him for lunch, enthusiastically hugged Carter’s side.
“Fun!” Kenny said. “Wherever Daddy goes, I go.”
Fridays are particularly big days for parents having lunch at Butterfield Trail Elementary School in Fayetteville, though Principal Joey Folsom said she isn’t sure why.
Sometimes they bring food from a restaurant. Sometimes they bring food from home. Sometimes they eat whatever the cafeteria is serving, Folsom said.
Butterfield Trail, like other schools, has a special area in the cafeteria reserved for visitors. Students whose parents come to eat with them are allowed to bring one friend with them to the table.
“I think the students enjoy having their parents at school,” Folsom said. “Of course, if parents are bringing them a special meal, that’s special too. It just offers a little different atmosphere, especially if they go out into the courtyard to eat. So the kids think it’s special.”
While many schools allow parents to come for lunch, the practice is not universal.
The Manheim Township School District in Lancaster, Pa., for example, disallowed it starting in 2013. A school board policy states the rule exists “for the safety of our students,” though the policy provides for an exception in cases when a school wants to invite parents for a celebration.
A Tampa, Fla., man wrote a column for the Tampa Bay Times last year complaining about a policy at his child’s
public school that prohibits parents from dining with their kids.
Stacey Ferguson, principal of Springdale’s Turnbow Elementary School, said she thinks any time a parent is willing to come to school and communicate with their child, it’s a positive thing.
“Sometimes they work different shifts, and [lunch] is their only time of day to see their child,” Ferguson said.
Reagan Elementary School in Rogers has anywhere from five to 15 parents for lunch each day, said Matthew Howard, assistant principal.
“We do have tables set aside for parents to eat lunch with students,” Howard said. “We do encourage it. It really builds up a sense of family and community. It’s always been a part of what we try to foster and celebrate as a part of family connections.”