Haters by state? We can’t relate

People in Missouri — the Show Me state, the state of my birth — hate people who believe in aliens.

Texans hate sleeping with the window open.

New Jersey folks have an aversion to jellyfish.

This info comes from Hater, the name of a recently debuted dating application. Instead of going with the grain when it comes to dating aids, Hater matches people who have the same hates in common, rather than people who share loves and likes. “Upon signing up for Hater, users are asked to swipe (up for love, right for like, left for dislike and down for hate) on a selection of 3,000 issues that comprise politicians, celebrities, companies, etc., to detail their profile,” according to a story at Matador Network (Matadornetwork.com), a travel media brand. The top hates in each state were then shown in a colorful (literal and figurative) map of the United States that has been making the rounds.

Justifications can be made for some of the dislikes. Missouri is nicknamed the Show Me state, so it’s no surprise that Missourians would be like, “hey, show me these aliens.” Texas has a reputation for its bugs, snakes and bats, so no surprise there. I’d wager that the Garden Staters are fed up with the jellyfish stings they risk suffering when they play in the water off the Jersey Shore. And Connecticut people hating winter? Well.

But I, at least, struggle to understand why Wisconsin residents hate trap music (a subgenre of Southern hip-hop) and those residing in its across-the-greatlake neighbor, Michigan, have expressed their hatred of the Jane Austen novel Pride and Prejudice. And why, pray, do Georgians hate tuna salad?

Of course the more interesting question might be how Hater came up with the 3,000 disliked objects, which in this vast country of more than 300 million people, is a relatively small selection of hates. But there was enough of a selection to reveal, to us spectators, some interesting patterns:

Such as the states where drinking is a prominent pastime: People from hubby’s home state of Louisiana hate being the designated driver. Minnesotans abhor drinking alone. North Carolinians hate Driving Under the Influence checkpoints.

Such as where the truly straightlaced among us reside: Utah residents hate pornography. Oklahomans hate hearing the latest gosIn

sip. Mississippians hate, well, a certain sexual act.

Such as the states whose residents aren’t big on exercise: In Oregon, they hate spin class; in Montana, they can’t stand going to the gym, period; and in Florida, they hate those cutesy workout couples.

Such as the states where mindful or health-related eating isn’t prized. Tennesseeans

bear a deep dislike of foraged food. Neighboring state Alabama has no time for vegetarianism. And people in Wyoming hate gluten-free food, or at least the term “gluten free.”

There are the hilariously obvious hates: New Yorkers hate Times Square. Washington Staters, being in the land of Starbucks, bear a hatred for Keurig K-Cups. Massachusetts residents hate Eli Manning, due no doubt to those hurtful Super Bowl losses. The jaded residents of the nation’s capital, Washington, hate the idea

that everyone has a soul mate — “which says a lot about the deep, soul-crushing nature of politics,” opines the writer of a Complex.com story about the map.

And there are the head-scratchers and “Mmmh mmmh mmmh” comment-evokers. North Dakotans apparently like their meals hearty, as they have no time for tapas. New Hampshirites are in need of a good tent revival: They hate God. West Virginia must be Uber country, as residents hate Lyft.

The most mystifying: Out of all the more colorful, more creative hates they could have chosen, Arkansans claimed to hate cleaning.

That’s it. Just … cleaning. Too bad “negative distinctions” apparently wasn’t among those 3,000 possible hates, as Arkansas always seems to rack up one bad distinction or another.

The latest of which, apparently, is “messiness.”