Hus­band un­happy with wife for flirt­ing with young waiter

Arkansas Democrat-Gazette - - HIGH PROFILE - Dear Abby is writ­ten by Abi­gail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los An­ge­les, CA 90069.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been mar­ried for 36 years and have five adult chil­dren. We have a lov­ing, car­ing and mu­tu­ally sup­port­ive re­la­tion­ship.

We re­cently had din­ner at a restau­rant, and she be­came very flirty and fa­mil­iar with our male server, who was one-third her age and a com­plete stranger. She com­pli­mented him on his hand­some looks, his trim waist­line and his smooth and re­as­sur­ing speak­ing style. I thought she was out of line, and on the ride home, I told her so. She be­came de­fen­sive and an­gry and said she was only kid­ding around with him. What’s the best way to avoid this type of dust-up in the fu­ture?

— Jim DEAR JIM: What your wife did was in­ap­pro­pri­ate. Could she have had one pre­meal cock­tail too many? Be­cause her be­hav­ior made you un­com­fort­able, she owes you an apol­ogy. And if this sort of thing hap­pens again, per­haps you should re­quest a fe­male server if pos­si­ble.

DEAR ABBY: I’m a sopho­more col­lege stu­dent who has fi­nally set­tled in with a group of friends I love and re­ally con­nect with. How­ever, one girl in our group throws full-on tem­per tantrums where she cries, storms off or ex­erts neg­a­tive en­ergy to the point that it ruins the night for the rest of us. These fits of tem­per seem to be caused by any­thing and ev­ery­thing, and have reached a point where my friends and I feel anx­ious be­ing around her. What do we do? And how do we deal with some­one who cries at the tini­est of per­ceived “slights”?

— Ex­hausted in Col­lege DEAR EX­HAUSTED: The be­hav­ior you have de­scribed isn’t nor­mal. The girl ap­pears to be ex­tremely frag­ile emo­tion­ally. Who­ever is clos­est to her should point out to her pri­vately that all of you are con­cerned that her out­bursts may be a sign of de­pres­sion, and sug­gest she talk to some­one at the stu­dent health cen­ter about them.

DEAR ABBY: A dear friend and her hus­band were at a Broad­way theater pro­duc­tion. Be­cause of a spinal cord in­jury, she uses either a walker or wheel­chair. Dur­ing in­ter­mis­sion, when she went into the ladies room, the line was quite long. Not one woman of­fered to let her move ahead. What’s the pro­to­col? I thought each per­son in there should have de­ferred to her.

I had tick­ets the same night, and when I saw her in line I walked up and asked her if I could in­ter­vene to move her in faster, but she said she didn’t want to bother any­one. I stayed with her and didn’t speak up be­cause I didn’t want to em­bar­rass her. I would ap­pre­ci­ate your view on this.

— Try­ing to Help DEAR TRY­ING TO HELP: My view is that some­one with an ob­vi­ous dis­abil­ity should be of­fered the next avail­able stall, and if the per­son uses a walker or a wheel­chair, the hand­i­cap stall should be of­fered to her.

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