The role model

Arkansas Democrat-Gazette - - EDITORIAL PAGE - ANN MCFEATTERS

All over Amer­ica, teens have a new role model. Be­come pres­i­dent and you only have to work an hour or two a day. The rest is Ex­ec­u­tive Time.

You don’t have to read brief­ing pa­pers— some­one will sum them up for you. If the briefers are bor­ing, you can dis­miss them un­til next week, next month or for­ever!

If some­one says some­thing about you that you don’t like, call them a liar. If they have a govern­ment job, fire them.

De­mand loy­alty but don’t give it.

If you shut down govern­ment for noth­ing and dis­rupt a mil­lion lives for no rea­son, you don’t even have to say you are sorry. You can hint you might do it again if you don’t get your way.

If many of your clos­est cam­paign aides have been in­dicted or pled guilty or are go­ing to jail, just say you didn’t know what was go­ing on.

If your coun­try’s most dan­ger­ous en­emy in­ter­fered with the na­tional elec­tion, say you don’t be­lieve the 17 in­tel­li­gence agen­cies that unan­i­mously agreed that hap­pened.

Raise the specter of a new arms race.

If you were found to have plot­ted with Rus­sian lead­ers to build a mon­strous new Trump Tower in Moscow and your aides dis­cussed drop­ping eco­nomic sanc­tions on Rus­sia, you can say your hands are clean be­cause noth­ing ac­tu­ally got built and Congress re­fused to let you drop sanc­tions.

You can say nice things about Kim Jong Un, a Saudi prince who or­ders Amer­i­can jour­nal­ists butchered and Vladimir Putin, the invader of coun­tries, on the premise that “we should all get along” and “we un­der­stand each other.”

You can lease from the fed­eral govern­ment the old post of­fice in the na­tion’s cap­i­tal, turn it into a pricey ho­tel and ex­pect for­eign lead­ers and lob­by­ists and any­body who wants to in­flu­ence you to stay there and pay hun­dreds of dol­lars each night. You will make mil­lions.

You don’t have to re­lease your tax records as ev­ery mod­ern pres­i­dent has be­fore you be­cause you just don’t want peo­ple pry­ing into your fi­nan­cial af­fairs.

You can or­der your White House chef, a govern­ment em­ployee, to make what­ever you want for din­ner whether it’s bad for you or not, be­cause some­one who works for you will change your records to make you taller so of­fi­cially you’re no longer con­sid­ered obese.

If you go to bor­ing in­ter­na­tional meet­ings or ceremonies, you can just leave. As pres­i­dent, you de­fine what is rude and what is not. Or you can try.

You can give a State of the Union speech with such wise or baf­fling state­ments as, “If there is go­ing to be peace and leg­is­la­tion, there can’t be war and in­ves­ti­ga­tion. It just doesn’t work that way.” And then you can boast about how much leg­is­la­tion has been passed dur­ing your two years in of­fice—de­spite nu­mer­ous spe­cial pros­e­cu­tor in­ves­ti­ga­tions.

You can spurn as “ridicu­lous” and “par­ti­san” those in­ves­ti­ga­tions. In­ves­ti­ga­tions such as what hap­pened to $107 mil­lion raised for Trump’s in­au­gu­ral fund and why has there been no of­fi­cial ac­count­ing? What hap­pened with the Trump Foun­da­tion, now or­dered dis­banded by the state of New York? Dur­ing the tran­si­tion be­tween Trump’s cam­paign and his be­com­ing pres­i­dent, there were many con­tacts with Rus­sia. Why? What about al­le­ga­tions of mas­sive tax eva­sion by the Trump Or­ga­ni­za­tion, still owned by the pres­i­dent? Did Trump cam­paign of­fi­cials con­spire with Rus­sia to smear Hil­lary Clin­ton and dis­rupt the elec­tion? Did Trump ob­struct jus­tice when he fired the FBI di­rec­tor? Did Trump tam­per with wit­nesses?

Wow, kids. What an in­cred­i­ble ex­am­ple for you!

Ann McFeatters is an op-ed colum­nist for Tri­bune News Ser­vice.

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