And they’re off!

The first steps in the horse race

THEY’RE in the gate . . . and they’re off! Lady of the North, the long shot, stumbles out of the gate! Let’s hope rider and horse are okay, and the horse lives to race another day. Unlucky, that. She might finish off the board. Free Money not off particularly well, either.

The favorite, Let ’Em Bern, is showing his speed and is already out to a big lead. Goodness, folks, this race might be over before the turn! Let ’Em Bern is out to a two-furlong lead after one furlong!

Uncle Joe is hogging the middle early. Mayor o’ War, the miler, is fighting for some space there. He might get boxed in. It’s Let ’Em Bern, then Uncle Joe over Mayor o’ War by a length, then Massachusetts Slew, then the long-shots Colorado Chrome, Hawaii War Emblem and Free Money. Lady of the North, the local horse, brings up the rear and appears to be un-injured.

It’s a heavy run today, folks. There’s mud on the track, and the riders are trying to keep it out of their eyes. Imagine if the New York steed, the mudder, hadn’t been scratched today.

The field is making up ground on the leader, Let ’Em Bern, as they make the clubhouse turn. Can the old horse keep up this early pace? It’s a question how he’ll do down the stretch, but look at him go now! Will the pace affect him?

Next, Uncle Joe is still steady in the middle, and he’s crowding out 19:1 Mayor o’ War, who’s looking for a way through. With 5/8ths to go, 10:1 Massachusetts Slew has the rest of the field by a neck.

Let ’Em Bern, the 2:1 favorite, is coming back to the pack. Uncle Joe’s still steady in the middle, keeping a full length between him and Mayor o’ War now, who’s still trying to find his stride. Three furlongs, and 49 states, to go.

Looks like there’s room between horses for Mayor o’ War. He’s young and strong—and making a move. And as they approach the top of the stretch, Massachusetts Slew takes to the outside. It looks like those few early awkward steps haven’t hurt this horse one bit.

The dark horses are sticking around longer than expected. Free Money has a cheering section. It appears as though Uncle Joe is going to save for the final push. Massachusetts Slew is in second place now. She’s behind! She’s ahead! She’s tied! She’s faltering! She has the momentum! Momentarily.

The race is tightening now. Let ’Em Bern jumped out to a huge early lead, but he’s not running away with things at this point. Massachusetts Slew won’t give him a breather, but the leader is still up by a neck, followed closely by Uncle Joe and Mayor o’ War. At mid-pack, Free Money is at the rail. You know, he might have bounced off that rail, and it cost him position. Lady of the North is trying to make up ground and get into striking position.

Down the stretch they come!

And on the outside, far left, is Massachusetts Slew, who’s chasing down the leader, Let ’Em Bern! They seem to be on a collision course on the outside! Both horses are determined to finish in the money! Just like they started!

Top four separated by two lengths! Let ’Em Bern, Massachusetts Slew, Uncle Joe and Mayor o’ War! Somebody’s going to make a move in the final 16th! Uncle Joe is closing! The pack is fading! It’s Mayor o’ War—no!—it’s Massachusetts Slew! Neck and neck!

Here’s the wire! And it’s—

Well, folks, there appears to be an inquiry. It was a photo finish. Emphasis on “photo,” not so much “finish.”

Only nine more months of this.