Venerate thy mother, Democrat told readers
Many, many times, an astonishing number of years ago, a gentle, harried, ironical mom would look at her pigheaded daughter in dismay and intone the words, “Thy mother.” That playful but warning tone conveyed, “I’m in a good mood, but you are being a brat.”
This mother was always sprinkling conversations with little rhymes or allusions to children’s books, and so why bother to wonder what she meant, exactly, by “Thy mother”?
Just now, while I was researching the archives of the Arkansas Gazette and Arkansas Democrat from 100 years ago — the week of Mother’s Day 1920 — I found a little ad that placed the phrase in its proper, churchy context and knocked some scales from my
“Thy Mother” will be pastor J.O. Johnston’s subject Sunday morning at the First Baptist church. Let everybody, old or young, wear a rose; if your mother is dead, wear a white rose; if she is living, then wear a red rose. — Adv.
“Thy mother” was a reference to Christianity’s fifth Commandment to “honor thy father and thy mother.” Mom was threatening me with the 10 Commandments!
How little we understand these women, until it is too late.
Johnston’s Baptist church must have been a large one because 832 people attended Sunday School on that long ago Mother’s Day. We know this because the day after, the church ran another ad in the Gazette:
FIRST BAPTIST SERVICES — “Thy Mother” was the subject of the morning sermon at First Baptist church yesterday by the pastor, the Rev. J.O. Johnson. There were 832 present in Sunday school. The subject last night was “the Wrong — the Remedy.” Ten joined the church and three were baptized.
— Adv.
(Yes, the second ad spelled the pastor’s name without a t.)
Other Little Rock churches also announced Mother’s Day services. The pastor of Henderson Methodist Church, 2408 Maple St., would speak on the subject “Mother” and members were urged to wear a flower in honor of the “best mother that ever lived.” Gardner Memorial and First Methodist both would have a mothers service at 11 a.m. And First Christian Church would celebrate by combining Bible school with preaching service, and there would be special music by the regular and the junior choirs. Mrs. Thompson would sing a solo. And there would be presents for the mother of the youngest baby, the oldest mother, the mother who took the largest number of children to church and for the youngest grandmother.
At First Methodist Church, Mrs. H.A. Pune would sing a solo, “Tell Mother I’ll Be There,” and flowers would be pinned on all.
F.G. Lindsey, state fire marshal, for some reason was going to travel overnight to Texarkana to deliver a Mother’s Day address at the First Methodist Church.
In Conway, the Rev. C.M. Reves planned a special service in observance of Mother’s Day “with community its nature.” My guess is this meant members would stand up and praise their moms. As well they should.
Are you struck, Dear Reader, by the fact that people didn’t give Mother flowers but instead wore a flower themselves to honor her? An editorial in the Democrat makes it clear that this was the prescribed practice:
We wish language were adequate to express the high sentiment in which the celebration of the day has its origin. But it is not. The highest tribute men render to motherhood on this day is the silent, eloquent message of the rose, red for living and white for dead, that speaks from every lapel.
The editorial continues, insisting upon another prescribed practice:
Do not forget Mother’s Day. Wear the rose. And if it is a red rose, and the mother is far away, where you may not pay her the personal honor that should be hers, write her a letter that will bring joy to her heart. Voice the love that, always felt, is so seldom expressed — the love that goes out from your heart to the brave, true, unselfish soul that poured out its devotion so richly in your days of helplessness and need.
Uncle Sam also insisted upon this writing of a letter to thy mother:
Mothers’ Day, Sunday, has been set aside at Camp Pike as a day during which all men and officers are expected to write to their mothers. A memorandum issued at Southeastern Department headquarters, Charleston, S.C., asked that attention be called to this matter. A camp memorandum will be issued today.
Helpful Reader, whose mind never strays far from thoughts of punctuation, will have noticed that the apostrophe in that quotation is placed after the plural word “Mothers” rather than the singular word “Mother,” which is the practice of The Associated Press and was the practice used by the Democrat in 1920. The 1920 Gazette, however, saw the day as belonging to all the mothers, not just one generic Mom. And so in the Gazette, each and every instance of the phrase “Mothers’ Day” was punctuated so the mothers were en masse.
I don’t know why that seems to mean something. But it does. It seems more accurate, to me, to avoid any suggestion that there is one mythic, generic Mother. It’s true there are many ordinary mothers, but some people don’t have ordinary mothers. They have cruel mothers, unforgettably selfish mothers.
Those ordinary mothers nurture their kids and do their best to build us up, making us feel big so we can safely leave them. Their lives subside in importance as we grow into our own. Year upon year, merciful oblivion allows us to forget these ordinary mothers and their private little comedies, how they brandished the stone tablets of Moses above the heads of ignorant, dependent dummies who had no idea how big and grand and noble their mother truly was.
Thy mother so easily forgotten then is unforgettable now.
With her in mind, here is a bit of a very fine poem full of excellent advice by one Edgar A. Guest that the Gazette published under a headline punctuated so as to invoke all the mothers that ever were:
If the day has been stormy, or troubled or sad,
Sit down and write to your mother, my lad;
If joy has been yours, has good luck come your way?
Tell her about it and do not delay . ...
Oh, write to your mother, my boy, while you can,
Too soon you shall live as a motherless man.