Arkansas Democrat-Gazette

The things you learn


Some things I’ve learned along the way: Animals are sometimes better people than people, and people are sometimes more animal than animals. Mules are smarter and better workers than horses, but horses get all the glory. Some people can tell something is not worth a plugged nickel without knowing what a plugged nickel is.

My greatest talent is being the person that allows another person to brag about what a great deal he made. My second greatest talent is being invisible in a store when I need help and a person magnet when I don’t.

Trouble can be a blessing in disguise, but that disguise can sometimes last a lifetime. Chickens can lay but not lie while setting but not sitting. Storms last as long as they bloody well please and it’s best to let lying dogs sleep. Patience is a virtue and sometimes a girl’s name, but never a man’s. There may be a lesson in that.

Eleanor Roosevelt is quoted as saying, with two words added by me: “You must [learn to] do the thing you think you cannot do.” I wish I had learned that sooner.



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