Walk of Love
Conway event raises money for Alzheimer’s Arkansas to support caregivers
Melissa Longing saw the toll that Alzheimer’s disease took on her father, now deceased, but she also saw how it affected the health of her mother, his caregiver.
That’s one reason Longing organizes the Faulkner County Alzheimer’s Walk each year to benefit Alzheimer’s Arkansas in Little Rock.
“This is literally a place that is for caregivers,” she said of the organization.
The 16th annual walk is scheduled from 4-6 p.m. Oct. 2 in John McConnell Stadium at Conway High School. Alzheimer’s Arkansas calls the community event Walk of Love.
“Our theme is ‘Go for the Gold — Excellence for Alzheimer’s Caregivers,’” Longing said. “Because it was the year of the Olympics, we wanted to tie it in that way. All of the caregivers are our heroes because of what they do. It is not a fun job, for sure, but so many of them do it with love in their hearts. We want to make sure they’re recognized.”
Longing’s father, James Montgomery, was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease at age 59 and died in 2003. Monday is the 18th anniversary of his death. Her mother-in-law, Louise Longing, was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in her 80s and died in 2009.
“If you reach the age of 85, you have a 50-50 chance of getting [Alzheimer’s disease],” Melissa Longing said.
A self-described “daddy’s girl,” Longing said her father’s personality changed when he got sick.
“My dad was super laidback. He loved people; people loved him,” she said. “Whenever he got Alzheimer’s, he became aggressive and not nice. That is the very first sign that people get, usually. It upsets [caregivers] so much. I try to tell them this is a natural progression. Mom and I used to say, ‘It’s hardest on us because we’re still in reality, and we’re the ones making decisions that we don’t know if he (her father) would like or not.’
“I know it’s hard to be a caregiver, and I also know they tend to forget about themselves and fully focus on the Alzheimer’s patient. When they do that, it’s so detrimental to their health, and they don’t even see that they’re declining.”
Her mother failed three stress tests, but Longing said it wasn’t her mother’s heart.
“It was clearly the stress of dealing with daddy day to day,” Longing said, and they ultimately made the decision to place her father in a health care facility.
She said her mother is “doing great” today, and they recently attended a Razorback football game.
Longing said the Faulkner County Alzheimer’s Walk of Love is meant for remembrance of loved ones, as well as fundraising. This year’s event will take place on Longing’s 63rd birthday.
“I couldn’t think of a better way to celebrate my birthday than that walk,” she said. “It’s generally just a very, very fun day.”
Speakers will include Carolyn Berry, executive director of Alzheimer’s Arkansas.
There is no entry fee, but participants are asked to raise money for the organization.
“If you raise as much as $25, you will be able to get an event T-shirt,” Longing said. “All the money raised at these events stays in Arkansas. We keep 87 percent of the money, with it going directly into programs and services, and 13 percent might be in the budget for people who work there and that sort of thing.”
Alzheimer’s Arkansas is different from the Alzheimer’s Association.
“The Alzheimer’s Association raises money for research, which is huge,” she said. “It’s great, and we support that 100 percent. But until a cure can be found, we will continue to raise funds for caregivers.”
Participants can register for the walk by emailing Longing at melissa@thecarpetcenter.net or going to www.alz.ark.
org. Early registration will take place from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Sept. 29 at Danny Longing Properties, 572 Harkrider St. in Conway.
The walk is “a couple of laps around the track,” she said. Participants don’t have to walk; they may sit in the football stands.
“Masks are optional, but highly encouraged. I sure don’t want to be a super-spreader,” she said.
Longing said COVID-19 vaccinations will be available at the event. People who get vaccinated can enter a drawing to win a flat-screen television.
DJ JR Runyon of Y107.1 will provide music, and former television anchor Pamela Smith, director of communications for the Little Rock School District, will be the emcee. Door prizes will be given. Prizes will be awarded for the youngest and oldest walkers, the largest community and family teams, the most funds raised and more.
“This is the first year we’ve ever done this: We’ve chosen three different entities to compete against each other: financial institutions, sororities and real estate companies,” Longing said.
Keeping with the spirit of the Olympics, gold, silver and bronze medals will be awarded to the top three money-raisers in each category, she said.
People may walk by themselves or form a team.
“We have teams that are as small as two people or three people, or 50 or more, like the family of the late Bob J. Starr,” Longing said.
Sherry DeJarnette of Conway, one of Starr’s five children, said 50 to 75 members of her extended family and friends have donned “Walking for Bob” T-shirts and attended the event almost since its beginning.
“The walk is fun because we don’t always get together and see each other; it’s a melting pot of us,” she said.
DeJarnette said that in addition to her four siblings, all of whom live in Conway, relatives come from Morrilton, Maumelle, Enola, Fayetteville and farther to participate. She said that when they wear their T-shirts in public, people ask her who Bob was, and she gets to raise awareness about Alzheimer’s Arkansas.
Starr, a farmer and the 1950 Golden Gloves champion, died in January 2008 of Alzheimer’s disease and lung cancer, she said. He was 77.
“He was a very proud and strong man. He always wanted to be fair,” DeJarnette said. “It was important to us to all learn right from wrong, and respect was huge. You had to have respect for your elders and other people.”
Despite long hours at the farm, she said, her father tried to make it to all the extracurricular activities of his children and grandchildren, even if he had to roll up in his muddy farm truck, she recalled, laughing.
DeJarnette, a retired certified public accountant, said she first realized her father had a problem when she gathered paperwork to help him file income taxes and saw how uncharacteristically unorganized it was.
“Even his handwriting had changed,” she said.
He wasn’t able to drive, even though he wanted to, so the family first disabled his vehicle. He was a mechanic, and he fixed it. Then they stored it at a family member’s house and told their father it was in a repair shop.
One day, her father wandered off from the house and walked to a business that had been a vehicle-repair shop years before. The family frantically searched for him. He had his billfold with him, and an employee at the business was able to locate the family and let them know to pick up her father.
Her 84-year-old mother, Judy Starr of Conway, was diagnosed several years ago with another type of dementia.
“We’re going through it all again,” DeJarnette said.
She said her mother was, at one time, a Conway High School physical education teacher and was known for her “excellent” cooking skills. Her mother became forgetful and asked questions to which she should have known the answers, DeJarnette said. Also, her mom started having to refer to recipes to cook dishes that, previously, “she knew off the top of her head.”
Because of their experience with her father, family members recognized the signs more quickly, DeJarnette said.
DeJarnette said she and her siblings sought resources from Alzheimer’s Arkansas when her father was diagnosed, and they attended a support group at a Conway church.
Longing said Alzheimer’s Arkansas is an invaluable resource for caregivers. In addition to support groups, services include 24-hour telephone support at (800) 689-6090, training, financial assistance, and “coffee” via Zoom with Alzheimer’s Arkansas staff.
“That is so cool because you’re right there, and you can ask any questions you want to,” she said.
“We have the 24-hour hotline, and that’s really big,” Longing said. “Whenever you start having questions, it’s usually not in the middle of the day. … It’s 2 in the morning or midnight or whatever, when you can’t call your doctor.”
The organization also provides money for respite care or other needs that caregivers have.
“We have a grant that people can sign up for twice a year,” she said. People who qualify typically receive $300 six months apart for a year.
“We send them a check, and that can be used for respite care …, just letting someone get out and go to the beauty shop or get their nails done, or if they go somewhere overnight. … They also can use [the money] for medicine, food, anything they need. However they use it will be to the betterment of the caregiver and, ultimately, the patient,” Longing said.
“Caregivers are the ones that take the hit. [Alzheimer’s Arkansas has] ways to help them to make sure they take care of themselves. Over the years, that’s become more of my focus,” she said.