Ask Marilyn

I immigrated to the U.S. when I was 20 years old, which was decades ago, and when I speak in English, I can’t detect any accent. To me, I sound perfectly “American.” But when I listen to my recorded voice, I notice an unmistakable German accent. Why can’t I hear my own accent? —Ilse Sugarbaker, Washington, D.C.

Few of us actually listen to ourselves when we’re speaking. When we hear our recorded voices, it typically comes as an unwelcome shock. I doubt that anyone (professionals such as singers aside) thinks, “Oh, is that how I sound to others? I’m so pleased!”

First, we hear our voices through our bodies, adding solid and liquid sound conduction to the air transmission of sound waves through our ears. This makes our voices sound deeper and richer to ourselves.

Second—and here’s where we approach the subject of accents—when we’re speaking, we don’t notice our little idiosyncratic vocal mannerisms, such as clipping some words, hissing certain letters, slurring polysyllabic words, raising our voices at the end of many declarative sentences, repeating favorite words (“Right?” Agreed?”), and much more. Of course, those are negative. But we also don’t hear our positive vocal traits, such as our accents.

Plenty of sounds are native to some languages but not to others. If we didn’t learn to manipulate our facial muscles— mainly the lips and tongue—to articulate them by the time we were teenagers, we may never be able to accomplish it. (The French “r” is a famous example.) But why try? If we’re easy to understand, I suggest we freely retain the native character of our speech, which I believe the great majority of people find charming.