The concept of speaking freely
Earlier this year, I engaged in conversation with an acquaintance who stated categorically that the data we are exposed to is all nonsense (he actually used a profane term I seem to hear more regularly than ever before).
I responded, in what I thought was a civil tone, that I believe verifiable data exists. His retort was the same invective he had used the moment before, only now in a louder voice. Naively hoping to engage in discussion about our differences, and assuming this highly educated individual would hear me out, I referred to the jobs report produced by the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics for March 2024. My conversation partner blurted out the same vulgarity he had uttered previously, and with that, he stormed out of the room. Listening, trusting, and verifying were not going to be part of our drill.
Perhaps my experience was a oneof-a-kind moment. I fear not, and worry about our being able to confront problems and resolve issues successfully unless civil disagreement and freedom of expression are normal elements of daily social intercourse.
We celebrated Patriots Day not long ago; Memorial Day and Independence Day are near. These important American holidays remind me to consider the values that we as a people hold most dearly, and the principles men and women have fought and died to preserve.
In so many ways, and for necessary reasons, the First Amendment is regularly in the news and on our minds. Our freedom to express ourselves without fear of government reprisal is central to who we are as a nation. We are permitted, even encouraged, to voice our opinions as citizens in order to sustain a government by and for the people, and to ensure that checks and balances keep us from veering off course.
However, I am concerned about our having come unmoored from the intent of the First Amendment. The behavior we observed on Jan. 6, 2021, was startling for its violence and disregard for the rule of law and the rights of others.
Agreeing and disagreeing are fundamental to almost every relationship. To engage in either behavior requires emotional skill and patience. To be in a relationship demands that we engage in mutual respect, what author and leadership consultant Gus Lee calls “unconditional positive respect,” or UPR.
Mr. Lee asserts that we must begin conversations with genuine mutual consideration. This implies taking the time and effort to listen carefully. It demands that we give fellow citizens the opportunity to speak their piece without interruption and name-calling. UPR requires that we seek to understand—not necessarily agree with—our neighbors before demanding to be understood by them. Thoughtful debate should be integral to every interaction.
In the United States, we enjoy established mechanisms and processes for arriving at formal conclusions. Yet in today’s America, this truth seems to elude some of us. In fact, many have forgotten that sometimes we lose and sometimes we win, that intelligent compromise is necessary for the continued evolution of a great nation. Exhibiting disrespect for opinions and personalities of our fellow travelers perpetuates strife and discord, and leads to the fractiousness that keeps us from finding our way as one people.
Last year, I read an article in a university’s alumni magazine in which students reflected on their experience in a particular class. One young woman articulated that the professor had led his students to discuss and debate challenging and controversial topics which often engendered open disagreement. The academic term was spent learning the course’s content and, perhaps more importantly, focused on how to agree and disagree in respectful terms.
The professor did not demand agreement on any topic, but rather required his students to formulate intelligent arguments, present them well, then listen to the questions and assertions of classmates, responding only when they understood fully what their “adversaries” had posited. Respect, not agreement, was the prevailing principle.
Students also learned that winning and losing are often equal parts of life. One student happily reported she had become good friends with a classmate with whom she had often disagreed during the semester. I fervently hope these young people carry the lessons they learned into their families, workplaces, and communities. If they do, they will create a more constructive and increasingly productive environment for all.
The First Amendment is one of America’s most important symbols. It’s first for good reason. However, observing boundaries comes with this territory. American life cannot be a free-for-all; hateful and threatening speech must be out of bounds.
Every American deserves respect, but also must earn respect by treating others with care, concern, and compassion. The First Amendment protects my expressing my thoughts and opinions, even in outlandish terms, but also requires that I listen to others respectfully while accepting that my opinions are not always those that carry a given argument. Freedom must not connote freedom from responsibility; this foundational principle must involve my behaving responsibly at every turn.
Arnold Holtberg of Hot Springs Village is an educational consultant and former history teacher and school administrator. An author of both fiction and non-fiction, he has written a young readers’ novel, “Game On! One Boy’s Odyssey,” aimed at helping students, parents, and teachers contend with issues of everyday life.