CAROLYN HAX

DEAR CAROLYN: It’s almost Christmas and I know my beloved ADD husband hasn’t done a thing about my present. I tried to make things easy on him by asking for one thing related to his hobbies and interests, but, honestly, he forgets. I try not to badger him, but keep blurting out attempts at humorous reminders (“Now you’ll have to get me diamonds AND chocolate!”), but I don’t like myself when I say stuff like that. I just get so frustrated. Any wisdom? — I Want My Present,

Dammit

Can you live with not getting anything, knowing that’s part of the package of your life with this beloved ADD husband?

DEAR CAROLYN: I’m a very silly, good-natured person. I speak loudly, say inappropriate things, laugh at everything and generally enjoy life. I have friends and family who love me and are amused by my behavior (most of the time).

I’m starting to think men like to be friends with the silly, loud girl but don’t want to marry her. But that is the real me. Should I consider toning it down?

— Silly

The person you’ll be in a marriage is who you need to be when you’re dating. Anything else is unfair to you both.

There are a lot of personalities that require a patient approach to finding a partner, because they require similar, specific sensibilities. Call that a handicap, but it works better as a point of pride.