Through education, we can end relationship violence

Three women have died in Maryland since the start of the national coverage of the brutal murder of a beautiful white woman, Gabby Petito.

Sadly, all of the women who died in Maryland were Black women; all together, by my count, they have received 12 news stories compared to the nonstop local and national coverage of Gabby’s tragic death. If we want to end the epidemic of domestic violence in our country, our communities need to have a tough conversation about centering the experiences of marginalized communities.

To be clear, Gabby’s death is heartbreaking and tragic.

As a special victim’s prosecutor here in Maryland, I know that relationship abuse is heartbreakingly common. Every day, according to the National Network to End Domestic Violence, approximately three women are murdered by an intimate partner.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports that Black and Indigenous women experience the highest rate of intimate partner homicide in our country. Astonishingly, Black women ages 25-29 are 11 times more likely than white women to be murdered while pregnant or in the first year after childbirth.

We have heard a lot in the news in recent weeks about the “red flags” of possessiveness, isolation, verbal abuse and gaslighting. I cannot think of a single homicide I have handled over the years, where the initial conversation with family and friends doesn’t center on these warning signs. Gabby’s death and the death of the three women in Maryland was preventable if the warning signs that were seen were understood.

I proudly serve on the Mid-Atlantic Regional Advisory Board for the One Love Foundation, which was founded in honor of Cockeysville native Yeardley Love, who was tragically killed by her former boyfriend in 2010 while they were students at the University of Virginia. Yeardley’s death, like Gabby’s, received copious media coverage; she, too, was a beautiful white woman. But the foundation created in her memory is dedicated to ending relationship abuse across a diverse spectrum, understanding that to make a profound difference in the lives of the next generation, we need to commit to proactive prevention education for all.

I call on every person reading this letter now to commit to the same goal. We must ensure that young people of all races can see the signs of unhealthy relationships and understand what they are seeing. We must create a common language for talking about a topic that is so difficult, and we must normalize this conversation so that all young people have the confidence to navigate these tough issues in their own lives and in the lives of their friends. We must commit to providing every child in our region with the education they need to avoid abusive relationships.

Together, we can make a difference. Together, we can end relationship violence. For me, as a prosecutor, the thought that all of us can stand up collectively and demand education for our young people gives me hope that l I will have to have one less conversation with a family about the signs they only understand fully after the ultimate tragedy occurs.

The writer is chief of the Special Victims’ Unit for Prince George’s County State’s Attorneys Office and a Regional Advisory Board member of the One Love Foundation, a nonprofit organization dedicated to preventive education to help people avoid abusive relationships. For more on One Love’s work, visit JoinOneLove.org.