Priesthood, family life complement one another

Obviously, allowing priests to be married is no panacea, and making the transition to a married as well as a celibate clergy will not be without its challenges. But I fully believe the journey will make both the celibate and married state more authentic in our world.

I was ordained a Roman Catholic Priest on May 10, 1986, and I couldn’t agree more with Edward McCarey McDonnell (“Catholic Church must reform the priesthood,” Aug 27).

The priests we have are spread too thin and need help, and the Catholic Church should welcome married men and women to be ordained priests.

I loved being a priest. I loved the ministry, gently walking with the People of God through some of life’s most sacred moments. There were many times when I was aware that I was part of something much bigger than myself. I still am.

Twenty-eight years after stepping back from active ministry, I am still regularly asked to lead prayer, and some who never knew me as a priest will affectionately call me “Father Pete.”

But celibacy never came easily to me; indeed, it was a constant struggle. As a boy I dreamed of being married and having a family, and those dreams didn’t die — no matter how much I loved being a priest.

So, in October 1994, after eight years of active ministry, I took leave to seek the solace of the desert in Arizona for a two-month retreat. For me it was a time to get away from everything and everyone to discern a way forward.

I remember, in the desert stillness, coming to the realization that the Church was asking me to decide which of my hands to cut off. On the one hand I loved being a priest, and on the other hand I loved a woman, Debbie, and her children.

For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why the Church was asking me to make that decision, and in the end I couldn’t cut off either hand. Eighteen months later Debbie and I were married, and in June of this year we celebrated our 26th anniversary.

This past April I was able to preside at my son’s wedding to his lovely bride. The fact that I was Dad and minister made the celebration that much more special and sacramental.

I also want to share that, three times in the past 10 years, when my wife and I came to Sunday mass I was informed that the visiting priest failed to show up to celebrate the liturgy. Each time it was the members of the congregation that came to me to ask me to lead them in a Communion service.

Please note, it was the Church, the people of God, who called me to ministry.

I’m writing to say that there has to be a place for a married clergy in the Catholic Church. I loved being a priest, and I love my family. They complement each other.

Obviously, allowing priests to be married is no panacea, and making the transition to a married as well as a celibate clergy will not be without its challenges. But I fully believe the journey will make both the celibate and married state more authentic in our world.

I would love to be part of a conversation to welcome married men to active ministry as priests. God knows we have so much to offer, and there are so many sheep without a shepherd.

I continue to believe that there is no shortage of vocations. We simply have a church wearing blinders. We are here, men and women, called and ready to serve. There has to be place for us to serve as God has called us.

Here are some points to consider:

The Catholic Church in the United States has become dependent on candidates from other countries to fill our seminaries and churches. Good men no doubt, but unfamiliar with our culture and often unrelatable.

The Catholic Church has a history of welcoming married Episcopal and Lutheran men into active ministry, and these men and their families have shown themselves to be wonderful shepherds to the People of God.

The number of active celibate priests has been in decline, and the average age of active priests is steadily increasing. This trend is not sustainable.

Pope Francis has expressed an openness to a discussion on married priests and has asked the local bishops to be “courageous” and make concrete suggestions.

The Holy Spirit is speaking. I pray that the bishops will listen.