You have a role in ending gun violence
“He was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
That is what the police told me after they investigated the murder of my son, Marcelis Gude, who was fatally shot 16 times in a drive-by shooting on June 15, 2021, while standing outside with a friend in Los Angeles, California.
The truth is that there is no right place and there is no right time when nowhere is safe. It doesn’t matter if you are catching up with friends on the neighborhood block, in school, at a restaurant, at work or, as we were tragically reminded last month, at a dance studio celebrating Lunar New Year.
Like many kids in their 20s, my son was charting his path toward his destiny. A beloved artist in the community, he was leaning into his passion for music and beginning to march to the beat of his own drum. I spoke to him daily, and I remember the special call we had right before he was shot. He FaceTimed me to show me his new haircut, and he told me he was looking forward to starting his next chapter. Marcelis had a gift for seeing the diamonds in people when others might have just seen coal. He was someone who had a charitable heart, and as I grieve his loss, I also grieve everything that he was set to become and a future he will never see. I grieve for those in the community he could have been a role model to, but never got the chance. No parent should ever have to bury their child — and anyone who has experienced their loved one being shot and killed knows that there is no end to the trauma.
Guns have detached us from our humanity and have created a cowardly approach to solving conflict. And while I want to see accountability at every level — be it in our local community or the nation’s gun industry — I know that we all have a role to play in preventing gun violence. Feb. 1-7 marks National Gun Violence Survivors Week, a time when we come together to share the stories and voices of gun violence survivors and recommit ourselves to honoring them with action. So let’s do that.
If you’re a gun owner, make sure you securely store your gun at home so that children cannot access it. Don’t turn a blind eye to the fact that Black and brown communities are disproportionately impacted by gun violence — the reasons for that are complex and due to the overlapping socio-political strains from historic divestment. Get involved with your local Moms Demand Action chapter. Take a closer look at how you can invest in community resources like Peace For DC. Vote for lawmakers that will be partners in creating pathways for opportunities in our communities. And, if you know other people who have been impacted by gun violence, let them know there is a massive community of survivors ready to stand with them.
After Marcelis died, many people didn’t know what to say to console me, not even therapists. But the Everytown Survivor Network has given me a space to have mutual support, to be around people who understand, and to uplift my son’s legacy — even if I’m not in California anymore. As a teacher in Washington, D.C., I’ve lost students to gun violence, leaving their parents devastated. And although this is a club that no one wants to join, the Everytown Survivor Network is a space I direct fellow survivors in my community to for support and to show them they can continue to be a voice for their child. I know firsthand this can be one of the ways survivors find peace and hope in the wake of pain and grief.
Although many will be reflecting on the strength and perseverance of survivors this week, every day of the year, I have to choose how I will survive without Marcelis. Join me in honoring him by seeing the diamonds and not the coal in people, and recognizing the ways we can prevent more senseless tragedies.
Guns have detached us from our humanity and have created a cowardly approach to solving conflict.