‘I am tired’: a pediatric psychologist’s plea to help her help Baltimore children
I am a pediatric psychologist working with youth who have chronic illnesses in Baltimore, a city with generations of disinvestment and trauma. The past four years have been marked by a notable increase in the number of children referred to me with psychological distress that is worsening their physical and emotional well-being. What started as a relatively lengthy waitlist, has evolved into a seemingly endless list of patient names. The COVID-19 pandemic exhausted already strained systems rife with systemic disparities.
I am tired.
I see kids at 8 a.m., 6 p.m., and in between, on weekends and even while on vacation, just to make sure they are safe and have a plan between sessions. I have volunteered my evenings and weekends to commissions, committees and organizations dedicated to bettering the communities for the families I serve.
I am tired.
I have had “the talk” with my Black and brown patients about how to safely interact with law enforcement more than I ever thought I would. Definitely more than I should have to. I have been a victim of — and witnessed my colleagues, friends, family and patients of color tolerate — oppression and bigotry of all kinds.
I am tired.
I have met with more schools this year than ever before about providing accommodations for my patients that they are legally and ethically entitled to, but are not receiving.
I am tired.
I watch helplessly as legislators in other states make decisions about kids, seemingly “for the children,” but not with one single child, parent or child advocate present at the table, robbing them from vital services. Decisions about what children can do with, and to, their own bodies are made with no inkling of regard for the science or the data. Many of the children that are negatively impacted by these seemingly flippant policy changes desperately need those services to survive; to survive, only in hopes of one day to thrive. And my nonbinary and trans patients here in Maryland see this and worry about where they can go in the U.S. and whether their home state will betray them as well.
I am tired.
I listen to kids tell me they do not feel safe at school because of bullying, physical altercations, exposure to news of school mass shootings. These are not cognitive distortions or false beliefs; these are the realities that children in America face every day as they throw their backpacks over their shoulders and head to school. Being a kid is tough enough, kids should not have to worry about being shot or killed in the place they spend the majority of their days. Let that sink in … KIDS SHOULD NOT HAVE TO WORRY EVERY DAY ABOUT BEING ATTACKED MUCH LESS SHOT AT SCHOOL!
I am SO TIRED!!!
I have had young adult patients make drastic decisions about ending their fertility as they do not want to be forced to carry an unviable pregnancy to term or be charged for murder if they miscarry.
I am tired.
I have experienced worsening work conditions, decreased pay with increased hours, less support and fewer resources, and being called disloyal for not falling in line with the latest way to gouge the patients. While telehealth has proven effective and increased access to many patients, there has been discussion to limit these services due to greater reimbursement for in-person treatment.
I am tired.
I am tired because most of this is not my job. Petulant adults, such as lobbyists and legislators are negatively affecting America’s youth, the next generation, by prioritizing monetary gains before children’s needs. The kids are not all right.
On this Children’s Mental Health Week (May 7-13th), I invite each of you to get involved. Whether it be through talking to your children about race and racial justice, attending rallies and talks on equity and inclusion, or participating in community grassroots organizations to fight for the rights of kids to be who they are. Our children should be able to attend school without the threat of gun violence, and have access to quality mental health care without waiting on endless waitlists.
The future of our youth is in our hands. I’m too tired to do it alone.