I am an abuse survivor, and I support the Church

For many victims/survivors, the release of the Attorney General’s Report on Sexual Abuse of Children in the Archdiocese of Baltimore and the names of the abusing priests seems to have been a validation and affirmation of the abuse they had endured (“‘It’s an old-boy network’: Survivors feel disgust, vindication after Sun names church officials in abuse cover-ups,” May 8). For some, speaking to the Attorney General’s Office was the first time they felt heard and believed. For others, their deep, dark secrets were finally brought to light, and they found that they weren’t alone in the shame of this abuse. Survivor advocacy groups have been around for a long time, supporting survivors from all over the country. For some, this betrayal of trust from those who should have been some of the most trustworthy people has left them unable to trust anyone, including God. Many have not only left organized religion but have turned away from any belief in God.

I’m a survivor. I cooperated with the Attorney General’s Office, and the names of my abusers are in the report. I am also an active Catholic. I haven’t left the Church because my faith isn’t in any human person or stone building. I have found the fullest expression of my faith in Jesus Christ to be within the sacraments of the Catholic Church. I’ve been asked, “But aren’t you angry?” My answer is simple, “My anger is deeper than any words can express.” “Don’t you feel you’ve been betrayed?” “Oh yes! I have been betrayed by some priests of the Catholic Church and some of those priests whom I considered personal friends.”

I respect every survivor and how they choose to respond to their abuse and the report. However, when statements like: “Baltimore Catholic sex abuse survivors are calling for …” are published in various printed media or reported in various TV news stories, I feel that it is not representative of every survivor as it does not represent me (“Survivor advocates call on Catholics to push for the ouster of Archbishop Lori, newly named enablers,” May 8). Advertisements from a myriad of law firms and lawyers who ache to share the claimant’s monetary awards, billboards, to radio commercials are offensive to me and cause me additional trauma just to have it brought up over and over. It seems as if there is no safe place where this horror isn’t present.

In a climate of wanting to be heard and believed and to be represented, I, too, want that and haven’t felt represented at all.