Bring GOP and Dems together for a national reconciliation

We are so polarized, and it is threatening our democracy. Jan. 6 showed that political violence is on the table. Election officials, school board members and others around the country are being threatened. A recent survey of Wisconsin Republicans found that 43% agreed with the statement: “The traditional American way of life is disappearing so fast that we may have to use force to save it.” This is intolerable. We need a national dialogue, a national conversation between Republicans and Democrats to dial this extremism down, to understand one another better.

The need to better understand one another has always been there, but now it’s urgent. I started personally to feel this necessity when Donald Trump got elected in 2016. But the polarization in our country has grown by leaps and bounds since then. There may be 50 million or more people who believe the election was stolen. That gave us Jan. 6, and it could lead us to a horrifying future in which elections have lost their legitimacy. But even worse, tens of millions think civil war may be necessary, and many more fear that it could be coming.

I am a university professor, and I’ve spent my academic career trying to understand why researchers, policymakers and ordinary citizens disagree about so many things. Most recently, I put this into a book for a general audience on why and how conservatives, liberals and progressives see a host of issues very differently. I have a progressive perspective — I would have been very happy to have Bernie Sanders as president — but I try hard not to create straw persons and to understand why conservatives and even liberals see things so much differently than I do. But, in today’s world, writing about our differences doesn’t get us very far, we have to do something about them, and right away.

And there’s something we can do. My university and many others sponsor what are called intergroup dialogues. IGDs bring together members of a community from diverse social identities — such as race, gender, sexual orientation, class, ability/disability or religion — that often have a history of conflict. While IGDs do not usually focus on political affiliation, they can, and I have offered to help lead one at my university. Each IGD usually has 12 to 14 participants divided equally among those of different identities (Black and white, for example) and two facilitators, one from each group. They usually meet once a week in a two-hour session for seven or eight weeks. Their purpose is not to persuade, but to better understand the commonalities and differences between groups as well as to develop skills to foster dialogue and communication. The results of IGDs have truly been spectacular. They are some of the most popular courses on college campuses and evaluations say they have often been a “transformative experience,” “life-changing.”

I propose that we do some version of IGDs between Republicans and Democrats on a massive, cross-country scale — and soon. I believe it is only through conversations with our neighbors that we can reduce or head off the animosity and violence that is growing. It will take some effort, but it may be the only thing that can save our democracy.

And, of course, we can start small. Such dialogues can be held in churches, synagogues, mosques, community centers, schools, universities and libraries. I believe that if promoted thoughtfully, many of our fellow citizens would be willing to spend two hours/week meeting for two months.

One problem is that, at universities, IGD facilitators receive training that can be crucial to managing IGDs successfully. It would be very difficult to offer in-depth training on a massive scale. But I do think this barrier can be overcome. I can envision free online classes for would-be facilitators or some in-person training at some of the venues above. The guidelines for encouraging dialogue instead of debate are fairly straightforward and perhaps can be learned in a relatively short time. Remember, the idea is not to convince or persuade others, but to understand their views and where they are coming from.

Republicans and Democrats, especially pro-Trump and anti-Trump factions, disagree on so many issues related to abortion, crime, race, gender, climate, social programs, etc. — but perhaps our differences, when examined, are not as profound as they sometimes seem. I think IGDs may hold the key to learning to live together without violence and with much less animosity and vitriol.