An eventual friendship
Sure, it took time, but this unlikely bond between roommates was worth the wait
This unlikely bond between roommates was worth the wait.
Alfie was the king of his castle — our family home — and his crown was well deserved. He came to us as a stray who was presumably dumped in our suburban neighborhood by someone who no longer wanted him. By his own accord, he boldly wandered in through our front door one summer day, while it was left open, and meowed at our feet in hopes of being fed. It worked. We opened a can of tuna — a simple courtesy — and he immediately took our gesture as an offer of permanent residency. It was clear that he had adopted us and so we welcomed him to stay.
Within months, Alfie swiftly transformed from a scraggly, malnourished street dweller to a strong, healthy boy with a shiny coat. He walked around his new home with a confident sense of regality. We were his proud, faithful subjects. From that first can of tuna onward, we answered his calls — for food, fresh air, affection. As far as Alfie was concerned, no other pet claimed the hearts of our family. And that was true — for the first few years anyway.
THE NEWCOMER
When my brother, Ravi, announced, “I think I want to adopt a dog,” there was a frankness in his tone. He was serious. This was happening. And so the search began.
He scrolled through the adoption options on a local shelter’s website, perusing the photos of the dogs. “Look at those faces. They need homes,” he said. While I can’t be too sure why my parents agreed, they nonetheless clearly understood. Perhaps it was due in part to the feeling of fulfillment we had for our role in transforming Alfie’s life, and his role in transforming ours.
We visited the shelter and met a variety of dogs. One in particular had that impact likened to capturing lightning in a bottle. She approached Ravi and flashed her doe eyes in his direction. That was all he needed — Ravi was in love.
The day we welcomed Jane to our home was exciting. As a reader of this magazine, you have most likely been in that situation yourself. It’s like bringing home a newborn. Jane wasn’t a newborn, however. She was a large three-year-old hound mix who had recently delivered puppies, and she was a fearful, timid dog. We knew it was going to take time for her to adjust to her new life and it was our responsibility to make her feel welcome. We were all on board.
Well, almost all of us were on board. One member of the family wasn’t quite as enthusiastic about Jane’s arrival. Nor was he interested in being hospitable. Up until that point, Alfie had been an “only child,” so to speak, receiving all the attention a pet could dream of. Now, there was a stranger living in his home who not only was much bigger, but who liked to sniff him.
NO LONGER AN “ONLY CHILD”
As Jane became accustomed to her new surroundings, she relaxed. She would hop up on the couch to watch TV with us. She’d sprawl out on the floor like a playful toddler. Our living room became her playroom, with bones and squeeze toys populating the floor. Suddenly, Alfie was expected to share his open space with this newcomer. He appeared to avoid Jane deliberately whenever possible.
Jane, on the other hand, was curious about Alfie from the start. Each time she approached, she’d get up close and have her nose check him out from head to paw. Being a fraction of her size,
One member of the family wasn’t quite as enthusiastic
about Jane’s arrival. Nor was he interested in being hospitable. Up until that point, Alfie had been an “only child,” so to speak, receiving all the attention a pet
could dream of.
Alfie wasn’t impressed. It was apparent that he felt his personal space was being invaded. He returned her interest with a hiss or a quick swipe.
Determined to form a friendship with Alfie, Jane persisted. When he sat on his favorite spot on the couch (elevated on the armrest, where he could keep a watchful eye on his surroundings), Jane would jump up and sit next to him. Startled, Alfie would leap off and walk away.
After a few months of this routine, though, Alfie began to stay put. Although he didn’t appear to be delighted by Jane’s company, he did seem to be a little more OK with her being around. Once, as he was grooming himself, he even reached over and licked her nearby paw. Progress. And while, after a year of living together, it was clear a close friendship wasn’t blossoming, there was a level of tolerance.
NO GOING-AWAY PARTY?
Eventually, Ravi was ready to move out and into a place of his own. The day he left was one of mixed emotions. We were happy for Ravi and his newfound independence, but we were sad that Jane would be going with him.
Naturally, we were expecting Alfie to throw a big “Going, going, gone!” party as soon as the door closed behind Jane. After all, we assumed that this was the moment he had been waiting for since Jane’s arrival — the opportunity to reclaim his kingdom. But in the weeks following their departure, Alfie wasn’t acting like his usual self. He was distant. He appeared despondent. He continued to sit in his favorite spot on the armrest, but he’d continuously lift his head and pan the room, perhaps searching for someone who was no longer there.
As for life at Ravi’s? Jane, too, was searching for her old friend. And so, on a visit to Ravi’s home, we decided to bring Alfie along with us in a carrier.
Their reunion was unforgettable. When we placed the pet carrier on the floor and opened the door, Jane wagged her tail and whimpered excitedly. Alfie stepped out of the carrier and Jane — overjoyed — let out a jubilant howl toward the ceiling. Alfie showed little reaction, but he did sniff Jane’s nose — this time, with no interest in swiping at it. Within minutes, they were cuddled up on the couch, in front of the TV.
As people doing what we can to provide homes to animals who might otherwise be at risk of losing their lives in shelters, most of us are cognizant of the positive effects of having pets. They offer their companionship and affection without expectation of reciprocation from us (but, of course, we return the love in kind). The bonds between people and their pets are indisputably pure and beautiful.
What I learned from watching my family home evolve from a no-cat house to a cat house to a cat-and-dog house, however, is that pet-to-pet bonds are equally pure and beautiful. As in all relationships, there will be obstacles and challenges, hisses and swipes. But as in all relationships, a bit of tolerance goes a long way.
Nice to meet you
THINKING ABOUT INTRODUCING a cat into a dog household, or a dog into a cat household? Great idea. However, just because you are keen doesn’t mean your existing pet will be. For some basic tips to ensure that the transition (and living together afterward) is as smooth as can be, check out these articles at bestfriends.org/resources:
How to Introduce a Dog to a Cat
Successfully Introducing Cats and Kittens to Dogs Dog Chasing Cat: Tips for Stopping the Behavior
Alfie wasn’t acting like his usual self. He was distant.
He appeared despondent. He continued to sit in his favorite spot on the armrest, but he’d continuously lift his head and pan the room, perhaps
searching for someone who was no longer there.