Dear Faith,

In June 2018, my wife and I took in a stray cat, Murray, who was then a couple of months old. He is a delight, but he can be extremely aggressive, particularly when he wants to play. Our other pet, Ava, is a 10-year-old, antisocial cat who hides whenever anyone enters the house.

We kept the cats separate for a year, using a fence between them so they could see and smell each other, but could not have physical contact. Then we gradually allowed physical contact between them, but to this day, they remain unable to get along. Any suggestions to bring peace at last to our household?

– PEACEMAKER Dear Peacemaker,

Thank you for not giving up on Murray and his relationship with Ava. Cats can display “status aggression,” which means they fight for territory, resources or ranking. By resetting their environment, you can ensure that each cat has adequate space and resources. To accomplish this reset, use these steps: Set Murray up in a room of his own so you can start the introduction process anew. This will give Ava time to forgive any transgressions. Provide Murray with everything he needs to feel comfortable in his room. Give Murray plenty of enrichment. Play with him two or three times a day for 10–15 minutes, using interactive toys like a feather on a string. End the session with a snack or meal, and then groom or pet him. Cats are creatures of habit, so try to keep to a schedule. After playing with Murray, spend some quality time with Ava. If she isn’t playful, use the time to pet, brush or talk to her. One way to entice her to interact with you is to offer baby food on your fingers. Try this regimen for two weeks, to get both cats used to the new schedule and anticipating it. Next, exchange Murray’s bedding with Ava’s so that they become acquainted with each other’s scent. Place a washcloth in each cat’s bed to collect their scent and then place the washcloth under the other cat’s food bowl. When they appear to be relaxed around each other’s scent, crack the door of Murray’s room so that they can see each other. Do this after each of Murray’s play sessions because that’s a time when he is calmer. Give each of them a special treat. Make this a treat that is only offered when they are around each other. You want them to associate the treats with each other’s presence. The next step is to let Murray out of his room for a few minutes after his play session. Gradually increase the length of these forays. Throughout the process, speak quietly and calmly to the cats. If Murray appears ready to stalk Ava or play too roughly with her, redirect him before he begins.

Cats can display “status aggression,” which means they fight for territory, resources or ranking. By resetting their environment, you can ensure that each cat has adequate space and resources.