LET A FRIEND RELEASE YOUR FEAR
Igrew up in the Deep South, where there’s absolutely no separation of church and state. My mom didn’t raise me with a super-closed mind, even though I grew up in church. I just didn’t feel like my viewpoint fit in a lot of places. Now, being in music and having friends from all over the place, it’s a lot easier to learn. I’ve learned a lot from my friend Beth [Cosentino] in the band Best Coast, and I feel like she has taught me a lot about speaking up and being willing to take the shit that comes with that.
I wish that someone had told me earlier on that I could speak out against power, and yes, it comes with shit and it comes with people pushing back against you, but that’s how progress is made. I have a lot of anxiety, and when one of the first big women’s marches was in town, I was going through a divorce — it wasn’t even my divorce yet, it was like a horrible breakup in that same relationship — and I was like, “I can’t go,” and I was talking to Beth about it and just being like, “I feel like if I speak up about something, even if I know it’s right, I feel like it’s going to bear down on me and I’m not going to be able to breathe.” I think the confidence to speak up about these things is a muscle.
It’s also a continuous learning lesson.
You have to be willing to be wrong and then get redirected. You have to be willing to ask a lot of questions and find resources and people to partner with. I’m learning right now that the best and the shortest route is to direct people to A, people smarter than me, but B, to people that actually do the work day in and day out — obviously, Planned Parenthood and the American Civil Liberties Union, but now, it’s just becoming more and more apparent that we have to dig deeper than that. Being a woman from the South, I think it is important to speak up because there are a lot of people down here that are now stranded, essentially, and you have to be able to point them to actual help. I’m focusing on Abortion Care Tennessee, which is here in Nashville, and Mississippi Reproductive Freedom Fund.
I know that our shows feel like safe places for people. But now the responsibility is going to be really telling people what they can do. It’s also not just about when I’m onstage. It’s about, “What cities are we going to? What’s going on in those cities? OK, we’re stopping in Mississippi — what are we going to do with this show, whether it’s monetarily or partnering and getting our hands dirty?” I just don’t understand the point of traveling across the country if there’s not more purpose than just sweating for an hour-and-a-half to two hours and getting applauded. [It’s about] giving your fans the resources. It’s telling your team, “We’ve got to do better.” I texted one of our booking agents last week, and I was like, “We need to have a meeting about what UTA is going to do on a grander scale, about what Live Nation and these promoters can do.” Because bands will do what they can. If they’re in the fight, they’re going to do what they can, but they also need support to keep it going.