THE MIRACLE OF CALUMETVILLE

A man is reunited with his lost boat, sort of, just in time for opening day.

Loyal readers have been flooding the office with cards and letters, anxious to find out whether my good friend Chuck Larson has selected a new boat to replace his beloved Yar-Craft, which you may recall was consumed last November in a conflagration started by a singed raccoon. The short answer is yes, Chuck has a boat. But of course, there’s a story.

Chuck quickly discovered that the insurance check he received for the loss of the Yar-Craft would make a very small dent in the price of a brand-new boat. So he shifted tactics.

“Why buy new when used will do?” was Chuck’s mantra as he sat tapping on a laptop perched on the blue Formica of the Lake View Inn bar. He was scouring listings from Escanaba to Minneapolis, sorting through the mistreated — “trailer for sale, includes boat” — and the misfortunate — “conviction forces quick sale of boat” — and the misplaced — “for pickup in northern Manitoba.”

At that precise moment, Bob “Toes” Lund wheeled into the bar with a cart of fresh snacks from his Frito-Lay “chip wagon.”

“There’s a Yar-Craft for sale on the east side of the lake,” said Toes. “Saw it yesterday on my route. Looks just like your old boat.”

And here’s the real miracle. Chuck found an old red-andwhite Dardevle spoon, the perfect replacement for the one he lost in the fire. I have no idea how it got there. Can I get a hallelujah?