Hey, buddy, remember me?

An armed robber accosted a man who was withdrawing cash at the drive-up ATM window of a bank in Philadelphia and took his money. The victim then drove off, but returned to retrieve his debit card, thinking the robber had left the area. He hadn't. So the driver hit him with his car, knocking him to the ground. He then got out, took back his money and drove off. The police arrested the robber later. The victim will not be charged. NO, SIR, WE AREN’T OFFERING ANY DISCOUNTS … Police said a man they pulled over for drunken driving in Kingston, Ontario, showed signs of severe intoxication when he handed over his Costco card instead of his driver's license. LOOK, I’M GOING AS FAST AS I CAN, SIR! … A woman was using a porta-potty at a beer festival in Devon, England, when a worker started to move it with a forklift in order to give access to emergency vehicles. He stopped when he heard her screams. • AFRICAN-AMERICAN MUSEUM, PAGE 35.

WELL MA’AM, YOU’D BETTER FIND YOUR WALKING SHOES … A 55-year-old woman, who was arrested for DWI in Buffalo, N.Y., after she hit a parked automobile, told officers she lost control because she was not driving “my

drinking car.”

HER CRYSTAL BALL MUST HAVE FOGGED

UP … Sports Illustrated reports that a British soccer club cancelled a promotion with a clairvoyant due to “unforeseen circumstances.” HEY, I’M THE VICTIM

HERE … A young man called the police in Australia because his father got into an argument with him and angrily burned his marijuana plant. The police came and arrested the kid.

I DIDN’T MEAN ME …A woman in Kent, England, advised her son to “watch out for idiots” when driving his motorcycle in the city. Later, when following him in her car not far from their home, she accidentally rear-ended him. He is OK.