Handy to be `deprived' when you're depraved
Triple murderer Gary Lee Sampson is trying to avoid the death penalty with the old Officer Krupke defense from “West Side Story”:
“He’s so depraved on account of he’s so deprived.”
Sampson is the career jailbird who carjacked three guys and stabbed them to death in 2001, two in Massachusetts, one in New Hampshire.
Since his conviction in federal court, Sampson’s been incarcerated at the Bureau of Prison’s death row in Terre Haute, Ind. Sadly, his death sentence was thrown out by a bleeding-heart judge, so now Sampson gets a new trial to decide whether he should get the death penalty, although it’s a moot point because he has cirrhosis of the liver, or so his lawyers claim.
Remorse is not one of Sampson’s strong suits, as we have learned in various briefs filed by the prosecution about his life on death row. He brags he “has a bigger legal team than OJ.”
His meals are delivered through a slot in his cell door. Once, Sampson shoved a sharpened broomstick through the slot, trying to shank the guard.
He was once recorded saying, “Killing someone is not a problem for me.”
Likewise, Sampson’s lawyers have nothing but time, and money — our money, because they’re “public defenders.” So now they decide to file a list of 217 “mitigating factors” for the soon-to-be-empaneled jury to consider as reasons why their monstrous client should not be executed.
Many of the so-called factors contradict others:
“49. The examiner who tested Gary at age 7: ‘ Gary is a bright … boy.”
“59. In November 1974, Gary’s IQ was measured at 74.” Well, which is it? “17. Gary’s parents did the best they could to create a loving environment.”
“29. Gary’s father called Gary names like ‘little bleep’ or ‘that kid.’ ” Again, which is it? Gary moves to North Carolina, and, by mitigating factor 135, “Gary was in a downward spiral.”
“141. After Gary left North Carolina, he traveled aimlessly in a continued downward spiral.”
“153. Gary’s downward spiral continued after he was not arrested.”
Pop quiz time: What kind of spiral was Gary in? (Sorry, only one guess allowed.)
By the way, did I mention that as a youth, according to mitigating factor 78c, “Gary abused hallucinogens, including LSD.”
Ah, the Whitey Bulger defense. Remember the Birdman of Alcatraz? Well, Sampson is the Mouseman of Terre Haute. Or maybe he’s the new version of Lenny from “Of Mice and Men.”
“201. Gary cared for mice in the Bureau of Prisons.
“202. Caring for his mice helped Gary cope with prison life.”
But not as much, I’m guessing, as that sharpened broomstick.
“208. Gary’s life has value.”
To the greed-crazed lawyers who are making millions off him with this nonsense, yes indeed.
“212. Gary is dying and has a short life expectancy.”
But not short enough to save us taxpayers a few million more in billable hours.
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