No gimmicks, no problem for these 2016 Red Sox
1967 gave us the Impossible Dream.
2013 gave us the Improbable Dream.
2016 gives us the Impractical Dream.
The 2016 American League East champion Boston Red Sox won their division without gimmicks. There were no miracles. There were no curses. There were no beards. There was no need to salve the civic wounds of a region scarred by terrorism.
Sure, they #WinDanceRepeat. Yes, David Ortiz’s swan song has been a terrific back story since he announced his retirement last November.
But these Red Sox won their division the old-fashioned way — by playing great all-around baseball at the most opportune time.
The AL East title wasn’t clinched Wednesday night with Baltimore’s victory over Toronto. Rather, it was stolen with an 11-game post-Labor Day winning streak that tore through the heart and basement of the division.
Hanley Ramirez, the same guy who turned playing left field into an “Epic Fail” video in 2015, got it started with a walk-off, threerun homer to Bernie Carbo’s landing spot in center against the Yankees at Fenway two weeks ago.
“I was swinging for the moon,” he said after that game. Truly out of this world. And speaking of impracticality, here’s a recap of the past six baseball seasons in Boston:
Worst September Collapse Ever. Worst. First. Worst. Worst. First. Unreal. The Red Sox celebrated the 2016 AL East title in the Bronx after losing to the Yankees via a walk-off grand slam. Unfrigginbelievable. As the team rejoiced following the obliteration of Craig Kimbrel’s ERA, we got to hear a champagne-drenched Big Papi unfiltered yelling: “Pop them (expletives). (Expletive) it” and “Let me pop some of these (expletives)” during a live, R-rated version of “Red Sox Clubhouse” on NESN. Top that, “Fever Pitch.” The winning core of the 2016 Red Sox has one Big Papi and plenty of smaller ones.
The Red Sox have two MVP candidates — Mookie Betts and Ortiz — who were drafted/ signed by Theo Epstein.
If the Red Sox and Cubs meet in the World Series, Theo is guaranteed a ring no matter who wins. There are a dozen Red Sox players who have Theo’s baseball DNA.
Boston has a Cy Young candidate in Rick Porcello. Pretty Ricky was drafted out of high school by then-Tigers GM Dave Dombrowski and signed to a 4-year, $82.5 million extension through 2019 last year by then-Red Sox GM Ben Cherington.
But the Biggest Papi of all on Yawkey Way is John W. Henry’s checkbook.
“It was the $217 million,” pitcher David Price told CSNNE’s Trenni Kusnierek during the post-clinch mayhem when she asked him why he came to Boston. Price quickly added he was only kidding. But there was truth hidden behind his bad-ass, polarized helmet goggles. Henry’s adjusted Red Sox payroll this season is $215,271,882, via Spotrac. That includes deferred money, players no longer with the team and those on majorleague deals playing in the minors.
No wonder the Globe is so small these days.
The Red Sox paid Rusney Castillo, Allen Craig and Pablo Sandoval a total of $36.5 million this season. We’ll see Donald Trump’s tax returns and Hillary Clinton’s missing emails before we see Craig play in Boston again. By the way, Craig is set to earn $11 million next season and $18 million in 2018.
You’re free to scream at any time.
Manny — yes, Manny — Ramirez got more ($1.993 million) in deferred money in 2016 than Xander Bogaerts, Jackie Bradley Jr. and Betts made in salary combined.
Now you know where all those $9 beers go.
That Henry is able to both risk and absorb such catastrophic financial hits in his pursuit of another title and increased value in the Red Sox franchise is laudable.
One more thing, if the status quo holds this weekend, the Red Sox would begin the playoffs on Oct. 6 at Fenway Park against the Cleveland Indians in the ALDS. Those would be the same Indians managed by one Terry Francona.
As Vin Scully said at least once during his 67 years in the booth, “Can you believe it?”
In 2016, yes we can.