Even Steven gets no pot of gold
You’ve probably seen — maybe in this paper or on the website — advertisements by the commonwealth of Massachusetts saying one in 10 people has money in the treasury waiting to be claimed.
I’m not one of them, nor is my wife.
We know this because we check every time those ads run. It’s easy for my wife to do. She has an odd enough name to usually turn up no matches when she enters it. On the other hand, my name is Jim Sullivan.
Do you know how many Jim Sullivans there are to search through in the state treasury’s database? Including Sullivans named Jimmy, James, J. or with no particular first name given, there are well over 100. None of them is me. I even looked up my deceased father, since I’m his only child and any money owed him would come to me. Nope — and, again, the number reaches into triple figures — Tom, Thomas, etc.
This is not a dig at the treasury for trying to give money back to us. The government trying to return billions of dollars is commendable, especially when it would be so easy to just divvy it up among their favorite programs. And two relatives of mine have actually made successful claims. One was also named Jim Sullivan since we’re Irish and once we decide we like a name we’ll use it over and over. I forget where his found money came from, but the other recipient of the state’s honesty had $200 in bail money returned. I’ll withhold her name.
Anyway, I’m never the person who gets that lucky. Don’t get me wrong; I’m often blessed and I thank God for that. But I am — as my wife likes to say — Even Steven. When I get lucky, it usually only makes up for something bad that happened. I’m not the sort who has cash fall into his lap to splurge on luxuries. For instance, in my youth I had a car break down. The repairs came to about $400. Earlier that day, I had played the Numbers. My numbers came up. The win? About $400. Even Steven.
My dad always said that we Sullivans would never starve, but we also wouldn’t hit the jackpot. Thus far, he’s been right. I’ve never starved, nor has anyone in my immediate family, but neither have we become millionaires. He When I get lucky, it usually only makes up for something bad that happened. I’m not the sort who has cash fall into his lap to splurge with on luxuries. also predicted, with the usual mix of Irish optimism and pessimism, that if we ever did hit the jackpot, we’d die the week after. I guess, given the correctness of his other prediction, it’s a good thing none of us has cashed a Megabucks ticket.
Despite the possibility of sudden death, I’d still like to win a few million. My wife would benefit, even if I croaked. A long time ago, she noticed that nobody you saw on TV winning the Publishers Clearinghouse grand prize lived above the ground floor. So, when we made our last move — from a secondstory apartment to our current residence on the first floor of a duplex — she thought we might be increasing our chances of success. Thus far, no.
She still has hope, but I know it won’t be me winning the prize. I’m Even Steven. Unless I lose $5,000 a week for life, I’m not going to win $5,000 a week for life. But I can live with that — and I won’t be starving.