You got the wrong stuff, baby
New Kids’ Joey McIntyre makes less-than-triumphant ‘Return’
New Kids on the Block singer Joey McIntyre plays himself in “Return of the Mac.” He might not be the right actor for the part. In this decidedly mild Pop comedy, the Needham native plays a Joey who is talented, rich, blessed with a gorgeous family (played by his gorgeous family) and every woman he meets, including January Jones (“Mad Men”) tonight, crushes on him like a bear going into heat.
You know, the kind of guy absolutely none of us can relate to.
Joey wants to be a serious actor. He thinks a network will finally let him play the hardboiled detective he's dreamed of. Instead, a new network called the Comfy Channel wants him to host a late-night talk show.
“The '80s are huge with our demo,” one executive says. “That and weight gain,” adds another. Joey reacts almost as if someone asked him to shill male enhancement pills or hair replacement plugs.
Never mind that late night is one of the most competitive areas on television.
Executive producers Donnie Wahlberg (fellow New Kid on the Block singer and someone with a serious acting gig on CBS' “Blue Bloods”) and wife Jenny McCarthy are the funniest parts of the show, popping up as, what else, distracted versions of themselves, taking selfies and playing Pictionary.
Hearing of Joey's career confusion, Jenny suggests, “I think there's a seat available on `The View,” which of course is an inside joke about her own career detours. “I think Whoopi would love him,” she adds. “I don't know. They're both pretty moody,” Donnie says.
“Blossom” star Joey Lawrence appears in the second episode as himself, and the two renew their “Dancing With the Stars” rivalry. The episode only feels as if it's three hours long.
“Return of the Mac” is after all a means of extending the New Kids brand, which now includes concerts, fan cruises and reality shows. Just think, there are still three members of the band out there who are “unemployed.”
With “Hollywood Darlings” (premiering at 8 p.m.), starring Jodie Sweetin, Beverley Mitchell and Christine Lakin, and “Return of the Mac,” Pop looks to cash in on Generation X's memories of youth, but the show formats are as old as “The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet.”
Joey's kids, Griffin, Rhys and Kira, need to look adorable. Mission accomplished. Wife Barrett is a good sport for going along with this show, but maybe this is not the best showcase of her talents, whatever they may be. Joey, who is also an executive producer, rarely seems comfortable in his own skin.
“Return of the Mac” looks like a pleasant family project, one they can look back on fondly.
For the rest of us, it's just a step up from watching someone else's home movies.