BOSTON BEEFCAKES
No shortage of eye candy in Hub sports
Boston is enjoying a golden age of bronzed bodies.
Two of the city’s finest athletes — Julian Edelman and Isaiah Thomas — bared it all for ESPN The Magazine’s latest Body Issue.
Thomas exited the playoffs early because of a hip injury, but that did nothing to keep him from disrobing for ESPN’s cameras. A fully nude Thomas can be seen holding a this-makes-it-OK-for-the-kids-tosee basketball. He was also photographed from behind exposing part of his behind, and is featured sitting down with multiple visible tattoos, including one of Mighty Mouse.
“I always was in the weight room,” the 5-foot-9 Thomas says in a first-person story in the magazine. This Celtic has no issues with size or performance.
Edelman, too, held nothing back. He posed au naturel with a snare drum and tri-corner hat, pumping iron, eating what looks like a cheeseburger and diving fully extended to make a catch with a very strategically placed pigskin.
The ever-body-conscious Edelman says his first thought after deciding to do the shoot was, “What’s the temperature of the room going to be?”
“People think it’s just a 16-week season, but this is a 52-week kind of job. You’re always thinking about how to improve and what to get for the next year,” Edelman tells ESPN.
Thomas and Edelman are just two examples of how the Athens of America has morphed into the Sparta of the U.S. when it comes to its professional athletes.
The ancient Greeks had at least three words to describe “love.” All mirror feelings expressed by New England’s fan base toward Tom Brady over the years, depending on one’s taste in men, quarterbacks or GOATs.
While Brady may be New England’s Apollo (son of Zeus/ Belichick) — there remain many an Adonis dotting the Hub’s sporting landscape.
The Patriots are stacked. Brady, Jimmy Garoppolo, Malcolm Butler, Danny Amendola or even Rob Gronkowski could all join Edelman on the Inside Track’s “Hottest Patriots next list of Hunks.”
David Pastrnak, David Krejci and the ruggedly hewn Patrice Bergeron have helped to ease the visual heartbreak of Bruins’ fans still reeling over the departure of Tyler Seguin.
The Red Sox have never looked this good — thanks in part to the biceps and gyrations of Andrew Benintendi along with fellow outfielders Jackie Bradley, Jr. and Mookie Betts.
And Celtics fans, consider yourselves warned about Jayson Tatum.
It’s not just good looks. Athletes are downsizing and becoming more, well, athletic. Pandas are extinct. Big Papi was merely an extralarge by the time he retired. “Small ball” rules the NBA. The heaviest Patriots starter not playing offensive or defensive line last season was Gronkowski — 265 pounds sculpted across a 6-foot-7 frame. The trend is getting even smaller. The national champion Clemson Tigers do not have a linebacker weighing more than 240 pounds. Once upon a time, Ted Williams hawked Chesterfield cigarettes, and later Carl Yastrzemski could be seen sneaking butts in the hallway behind the dugout. Smokers were spotted in the Fenway Park clubhouse through the 1990s. When Dean Wormer chastised Flounder for being “fat, drunk and stupid,” he could have been talking about the 2011 Red Sox.
The days of chicken and beer have given way to paleo diets, full-year conditioning programs and legal (we hope) supplements. Little justice is done to the lean athleticism of Xander Bogaerts and Christian Vasquez by the Red Sox’ baggy uniforms. Even Hanley Ramirez has gone from stuffed to buff. For now, at least.
Fans, especially those in pink hats, can benefit from it all — whether they actually pay attention to the games or not. “Obnoxious Boston Fan” Bill Speros tweets @RealOBF and can be reached at bsperos1 @gmail. com.