All haters, deal with it
Pats are comfortable in the role of villain
This “everybody hates the Patriots” business has become as predictable as the spring thaw, and as oh-here-we-go-again as the weekly Max Kellerman news bulletin that Tom Brady is about to fall off that cliff.
What to do about these non-stop affronts? If you’re a seasoned Pats fan, you roll your eyes, you clutch your pearls or you puff out your chest and point to what by now is a familiar roadside billboard: “They hate us because they ain’t us.”
Sorry, but that line is about as original as the next Batman movie, only with Alex Guerrero costarring as Alfred the butler. A random newspaper archive search reveals the Ohio State men’s basketball team was appropriating it as far back as 2006, with of all people future Celtic Jared “J.J.” Sullinger telling the Columbus Dispatch, “People love to be hating. We use the phrase, ‘They hate us because they ain’t us.’ ”
But guess what: Your New England Patriots, who are as talented with their marketing as Tom Brady is with fourth-quarter comebacks, apparently believe there’s gold in them thar hateful hills.
After the Patriots completed their thrilling 2420 comeback victory over the Jacksonville Jaguars in Sunday’s AFC Championship Game, a photo depicting a confetti-strewn field appeared on @gillettestadium, the official Twitter handle of the Patriots’
home ballpark, which, of course, is owned by the Kraft family.
The photo was accompanied by these words: “This isn’t even close to the last confetti pic we’ll be posting. Deal with it. #notdone.” Deal with it.
It’s not exactly a slap across the face with one of Brady’s protective gloves, and the Pats aren’t so brazen as to come right out and solicit your hatred. But to dismiss all football fans outside the borders of the magical Patriot Nation by telling them to “deal with it” comes very close.
It’s a 21st-century reboot of the late Celtics coach/ GM/legend Red Auerbach lighting up his victory cigar in the closing minutes of that night’s demolition of the Philadelphia Warriors, Baltimore Bullets or New York Knicks.
There’s no record of Red ever having said, “They hate us because they ain’t us.” Nor was he lighting up to chill a little with a nice Hoya de Monterey after a long night of coaching.
He was sending out a message.
Deal with it.
In sports, it’s good to have villains. The professional wrestling industry was the first to figure this out, and it was figured out many decades ago. In the old days they rolled out guys with names that announced their villainy, such as Gorilla Monsoon, Hans Mortier and the Kentucky Butcher.
Professional sports leagues weren’t so obvious with their villains, but they’ve always been there and we’ve always loved to hate them.
Had the Jaguars held off the Pats on Sunday, where would the fun be in hating
in the Super Bowl? Fans could have fallen back on hating the NFC champion Philadelphia Eagles, but . . . meh. Everyone hates Philly, but other than New York Giants fans it’s hard to hate a team that’s gone this far with career journeyman Nick Foles as their quarterback.
The Patriots are returning to the Super Bowl and a lot of people are not prepared to . . . deal with it. Deadspin.com put up this headline following Sunday’s game: “The Patriots Are Returning To The Super Bowl. Barf Barf Barf,” but the second paragraph was the real knee to the groin:
“Maybe you, too, allowed yourself to believe the miserable, hateful (expletive) Patriots would shuffle the hell on and allow a team anyone actually likes to advance, for a change. I am sorry for your loss.”
You’ll find tons of this stuff out there.
The headline to a blog at the Kansas City Star’s kansascity.com web site: “Not many people are happy to see Patriots go back to the Super Bowl.”
Headline at huffingtonpost.com: “Football Fans Lose Faith In Humanity As Patriots Head To Another Super Bowl.”
Sub-headline at huffingtonpost.com: “Ugh, I’d rather eat a Tide pod than watch another Patriots Super Bowl.”
And there was this headline in the New York Post: “Worst. Super Bowl. Ever.”
In fairness, though, this one is a laundry issue: Jets fans hate the Patriots, and, again, Giants fans hate the Eagles. It won’t be fun to be a New Yorker on Super Sunday.
Don’t worry about the little ones, mom and dad: The hatred is so over the top that it’s comical. And it’s not like anyone’s actually going to barf, barf, barf over who’s in the Super Bowl. Except maybe former Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb.
It’s not clear exactly why the Patriots would want people to hate them, but the NFL is all in because it’s all about the villains. And the Pats might be the biggest villains in sports history.
Tide pod, anyone?