How to reach out to co-worker with dying pet

I work at a pet-friendly company where people are allowed to bring their dogs. My co-worker “Mandy” has a golden retriever, and I have grown fond of him. Whenever I have a bad day, his friendly spirit immediately cheers me up.

Mandy recently learned that her wonderful dog is terminally ill and doesn’t have long to live. I feel so sad for both of them, but I’m not sure how to communicate with Mandy during this difficult time. Do you have any suggestions?

Kudos to you for being sensitive to your coworker’s grief. Because pets are like family for many people, the death of a dog can be emotionally wrenching. For that reason, you should handle this illness much as you would that of a close relative.

From time to time, ask Mandy how her dog is doing and how she is feeling. Her response should help you determine whether she would like to continue the conversation. While some people find it helpful to talk, others dislike discussing painful topics.

If Mandy gives a short reply that seems to discourage further discussion, don’t push for additional information. But if you sense that she would like to share more, follow up with appropriate questions or comments.

Once her pet passes away, express sorrow for her loss, reminisce about what a great dog he was, and let her know how his presence helped you. Then, as before, just follow her lead. If she seems to feel like talking, perhaps you could invite her to lunch.

However, you should avoid suggesting that her problem can be solved by getting another dog. Although there might be some truth to this, many pet owners resent the implication that their companions are interchangeable.

For the past six months, we have been struggling to cope with an incompetent district manager. “Jake” makes decisions and then changes his mind without telling anyone. When we explain that we were just following his original orders, he gets mad and refuses to believe us. If we provide documentation, he becomes very defensive.

Ever since Jake was put in charge, our turnover rate has gone through the roof. The human resources manager recently left because Jake overruled every policy that she tried to implement. She was the only one who helped us manage this insanity.

Although this is a large multistate company, our office is fairly small, so losing people is tough. The owners have to be aware of the increased turnover, but they’ve done nothing to investigate. What can we do?

You might be making an erroneous assumption. In a large company with multiple locations, the owners may have no clue about what’s happening in one small office. But if Jake is as bad as you say, they would probably like to know. So your group might want to contact them and explain why so many folks are jumping ship.

Given the HR manager’s history of helpfulness, perhaps she would be willing to guide you through this process and share her own impressions. However, if this plan seems unrealistic or the owners just don’t care, you might want to follow your former colleagues out the door.