I know I’m dead, but you should listen to me
After his fiancee dumped him for assaulting her and filed a restraining order against him, a man in Cornwall, England, posed as her dead mother sending the woman a letter begging her to take him back. The woman immediately knew that the letters came from him. Law enforcement was called in.
MAYBE YOU SHOULD KEEP IN TOUCH WITH YOUR FOLKS, YOU NIT! … A man got drunk with his friends in Glasgow, Scotland, and then took a taxi to his parents' home, and lay down on the couch to sleep it off. The lady of the house woke up, and informed him that his parents hadn't lived there for two years.
WAKEY, WAKEY, EGGS AND BAKEY! … A man passed out behind the wheel in the drive-thru at the McDonald's in Fullerton, Calif., at 2:30 in the morning. The cops woke him up, and found 96 grams of meth in the glove compartment.
NO, WE DON’T BELIEVE IN FAIRIES, SIR … A heavily intoxicated man dressed as Tinkerbell was kicked off a Ryanair passenger plane on the tarmac at London's Stansted Airport before the plane left for Krakow, Poland. He was apparently part of a wedding party, and flight attendants said he became disruptive and was threatening other passengers. The groom and the best man were also ejected.
LET ME JUST SHOW YOU WHAT I THINK! … The 57-year-old wife of the coach of a high school junior varsity softball team in Floyd, Va., went out to the pitcher's mound and mooned the upset fans in the stands after her husband's team lost the game.
SURE, LADY, HOP IN … After a night of partying, a young woman found herself stranded by her friends after midnight on Hutchinson Island, S.C. Her phone was dead, and she needed a ride home, so she pulled a fire alarm, and asked emergency personnel to transport her.
WE CAN WAIT HERE AS LONG AS IT TAKES, SIR … Police raided a marijuana growing operation in Elmer Township, Mich., prompting the 60-year-old owner of the large property to leap into a canoe and paddle out onto a pond. He eventually returned to land, because he couldn't stay out there forever.
WHEN ARE YOU COMING OUT OF THE BATHROOM, HON!? … A woman in Utah canceled her wedding just a week before the big day when she discovered that her groom-to-be watched porn on his phone.
MAYBE YOU SHOULD JUST COME WITH US, SIR … Police asked a man why he was standing naked at an intersection in Radcliff, Ky., at 4 o'clock in the morning. He said it was so he could be a “peace drinker.” He did not explain what that means. He also asked the officers where he could buy some meth.
STAND ASIDE! OFFICIAL BUSINESS! … A Bolivian military officer on his way to the airport stopped in a red-light district in the city of El Alto before flying to Cochabamba to deliver the nation's historic presidential gold medal, studded with emeralds, which dates to 1825, to the nation's leader. While he was inside, doing God knows what, somebody stole it from his car. Fortunately, the cops were able to get it back.