Time to kick off
Get ready for drama of Bill & Brady show
Bill Belichick called in Josh McDaniels just as soon as the surveillance team cleared the office of any bugging devices.
Can’t be too safe in this era of “The Dynasty Demise.”
Belichick hit the mute button on his wall-size computer screen to kill the audio of the “Time vs. Tom” epilogue now screening across NFL America. It was now “Time vs. Texans” time, and Belichick had some astounding news for his offensive coordinator.
“I can trust you, Josh, right? I got a slight change in personnel for Sunday’s game,” offered Belichick, casting wary glances, unsure his words were only for McDaniels’ ears. “Hogan’s not playing. We’ll go with Patterson and Dorsett as the receivers and see how Tommy Boy likes that, I mean, deals with that. It’s in the best interest of the team.”
A stunned McDaniels, taking this “Time vs. Bill” encounter as calmly as possible, offered no challenge.
“Looks like all six or seven running backs,” he thought, “and Allen and Hollister will have to catch a-plenty, too. I hope Gronk is dressing. You never know these days. Man, I shoulda went to the Colts.”
Belichick snapped his fingers to snap McDaniels out of it.
“Josh! You with me! This will all work out,” blurted Bill. “This isn’t that Butler thing again. It ain’t no Super Bowl! In Bill you still trust, right?”
McDaniels got up off the floor, nodding in disbelief, wondering what Hogan did to earn a seat and knowing it’s best not to ask and get the “it is what it is” thing.
“OK, Bill. Sounds good. You’re the man,” McDaniels said with a bow, quickly exiting this “Time vs. The End” nightmare. Gotta call Tom now. “Josh, how goes it?” greeted Brady soaking in his sauna, wine glass by his side, ‘G’ showing off her latest swimwear. “Beautiful day hanging with the family. What’s up?”
“Tom, you won’t believe it.”
B&B, BFF:
Houston at Patriots (-6) — “Sign, sign, everywhere a sign . .. . Do this, don’t do that, can’t you read the sign?” Good or bad, you figure it out. Time for football.
Pats, 23-20.
Let’s kick it off:
Pittsburgh (-4) at Cleveland — Hey, T.J., who says one never picks the Steelers! Steelers, 26-18.
San Francisco at Minnesota (-61⁄2) — Jimmy Geeeeeeeeeeee! Vikings, 30-13.
Cincinnati at Indianapolis (-21⁄2) — Andrew Luck is back! So aren’t most of his Colts teammates. Bengals, 22-16.
Buffalo at Baltimore (-71⁄2) — They say Joe Flacco is hearing footsteps for his quarterback job in Baltimore. It’s been going on now for three years or so.
Ravens, 23-10.
Jacksonville (-3) at NY Giants — Everybody’s happy in the land of the Giants. Except, after this one, their fans. Jaguars, 21-17.
Tampa Bay at New Orleans (-91 ⁄2) — The Bucs’ Ryan Fitzpatrick is starting at QB for his seventh NFL team. That’s what a Harvard education gets you.
Saints, 30-10.
Tennessee (-1) at Miami — Time to be cooler on the coast in Miami. Dolphins, 16-14.
Kansas City at LA Chargers (-3) — Chargers still playing in that Mickey Mouse soccer stadium. Nothing against Mickey, but so apropos. Chiefs, 29-20.
Seattle at Denver (-3) — The endless search for a quarterback in the Denver Rockies. On to Year 3 it goes. Seahawks, 24-13.
Dallas at Carolina (-3) — There aren’t two teams more full of themselves than these two clunkers. Panthers, 27-21.
Washington at Arizona (-1) — Middle of the pack quarterbacks for middle of the pack teams. Sam Bradford gets the nod over Alex Smith. Cardinals, 16-9.
Chicago at Green Bay (-71⁄2) — Expectations are quite high in Green Bay. Not as high as Aaron Rodgers’ pile of money. Packers, 27-12.
NY Jets at Detroit (-61⁄2) — The Lions play two of their first three games in prime time, night time. Who paid off whom? Lions, 33-20.
LA Rams (-4) at Oakland — Jon Gruden is back coaching the Raiders to a “Commitment To Excellence.” Not too sure about the excellence part. Raiders, 24-23.
Last year’s record: 119129-15