Causing a flap

Feather-brained fashion hits the red carpet

My chums are nothing if not enterprising. Take Iphegenia Stilton-Pong, a fellow fashionista and animal lover. Iphy loves the feather trend sweeping the runways — who wouldn’t adore a 3-foot headress of alabaster emu fluff ? — but detests hurting any birds. So she bought her own flock of the flightless sweeties with the intent of “startling” them into dropping the goods. “I play them ‘Game of Thrones’ reruns. There was a lot of squawking after ‘The Red Wedding’ episode.” But since Iphy yearns for a feather frock, she has to up the ante on production. The roller coasters at Universal Studios Orlando won’t know what hit them. Speaking of flights of fancy, get a load of the out-there ensembles snagged in this week’s red-carpet stakeout. Let me fluff up these Rumpled Feathers, and I’ll file my report:

RUMPLED FEATHERS

1 part Rumple Minze 1 part Wild Turkey Combine ingredients in a shot glass.

BLOBBYIST: Jackie Cruz models another fine piece from Gowns by the Dollop. FLAME ON: Apparently when Sarah Paulson took her van in for detailing, they worked on her dress for free. Nice.

AP PHOTOS TIERING UP: Did Kate Beckinsale’s undie-frock get caught in the Matrix?

CHAIN MAIL CALL Indya Moore’s invite said ‘dancing and jousting,’ so she is ready.