I think I know a way to get us a getaway car
Three teenagers called Uber and asked for a driver to wait for them across the street from a bank in Oklahoma City. Then they went in and tried to rob the place. As he waited, the driver saw a bunch of cops converge on the bank and figured something was up.
WELL, THAT’S A RELIEF … A woman thought she saw signs that there was a ghost in her Greensboro, N.C., apartment, but it turned out to be a man who was hiding in her closet trying on her clothes.
YOU GOT SOMETHING AGAINST INDEPENDENT BUSINESSMEN!? … A man was arrested for setting up a strip club in his North Carolina home.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I ‘LOOK FAMILIAR’? … A man stole a $12,000 diamond ring from a pawn shop in Portland, Ore., and then returned 24 hours
later and tried to sell it back. Staffers recognized him, and he did not get away with it.
BUT SHE WAS SAID TO BE SOMEWHAT DISAPPOINTED … At his wedding reception at a country club in Northampton Valley., Pa., the groom propositioned a teenage waitress, and, when she refused his advances, followed her into the ladies’ room and groped her. Someone later called the cops because he was “pushing and punching people,” and he attacked the officers who came to take him away. His bride could not be reached for comment.
THE ANSWER IS NO …Aman walked into a home in Kennard, Neb., at about midnight, and was confronted by the woman and her husband who lived there. He first said he had the wrong address, and then asked if he could stay the night. When he was denied, he asked for money.
LADIES, LADIES, PLEASE … Two women — ages 79 and 86 — got into a brawl at a nursing home in Rideau Lakes, Ontario, because they both claimed the same seat at the evening’s bingo game.
The police came and calmed them down.
I’M NOT SURE I LIKE YOUR TONE, OFFICER … Police came and picked up a wallet that a man left behind while he was shopping at a store in North Olmstead, Ohio, and they found cocaine and methamphetamine inside. Officers have asked that he come to the station and “take responsibility,” so that they can “get (him) some help” for his drug problem, adding, “One way or another, we will be talking soon!!!”
THIS ONLY MAKES IT WORSE,
MA’AM … A woman was arrested for drunken driving in Fairfield, Conn., after she was found passed out at the wheel. Then she posted bail with a counterfeit $100 bill.
THAT’LL SHOW HER! … A man being held at the Rikers Island jail in New York awaiting trial for five armed robberies got very angry at his mother for not coming up with the cash to bail him out. So he sent the police to her home more than 30 times, falsely reporting that serious crimes were being committed there.