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[Celebs should air-kiss these outfits goodbye]

Between New York Fashion Week and tonight’s Grammy Awards ceremony, my chum Langoustina Krum-Cote has been very, very busy.

Goustie gives air-kissing classes to those red-carpet and show denizens who wish to mix and mingle without smooshing their makeup.

It’s an art.

“Think of a cobra strike,” instructed Goustie to a newly minted A-list warbler, “but with bad aim and a better attitude.”

I dropped by for a refresher course for the Grammys: How to Navigate an Outrageous Outfit. I nearly poked my eye out last year thanks to a certain megastar’s cactus fedora.

Speaking of looking sharp, no one was during this week’s red carpet stakeout. Let me ease into this Tea Spike, and I’ll file my report:

TEA SPIKE

½ oz. dark creme de cacao 1 ½ oz. white rum

4 oz. iced tea

1 slice lemon

Measure a highball glass full of ice into a cocktail shaker. Add ingredients and shake. Pour back into highball glass and garnish with a slice of lemon.

HAVE A SEAT: Zoe Kazan looks charming in a parlor settee.

APPHOTOS OLE: Why is everyone asking me about castanets? I’m not going fishing. Hailee Steinfeld looks flamen-cozy.

HOLY MOLY: Did Jennifer Connelly raid an archbishop’s closet to make that frock? Well, I bet he forgave her.

FORGE AHEAD: Even after fitting a mare with a new pair of shoes, Rosamund Pike is fresh and ready to party.