OK, OK, let’s start over: I have the gun, right?
An armed man ordered a driver out of his vehicle in an attempted carjacking in St. Louis, but the victim refused to give up his keys. So the gunman pointed his weapon at the guy’s feet and pulled the trigger, but the gun didn’t go off. The driver tossed his keys, and, when both men went after them, the gunman dropped his cellphone, which the victim grabbed. The gunman got the keys. They negotiated a trade, and the gunman took off empty-handed.
YOU CAN TAKE AWAY MY FREEDOM BUT YOU CAN’T TAKE AWAY MY VACUUM: Police locked up a man who was struggling to walk down a highway in Lawrence Township, Pa., hauling a large box containing his Bissell vacuum cleaner. He was charged with public drunkenness, and was put in the county jail along with his vacuum.
YOU KNOW, SOMETHING ABOUT HIM DOES LOOK FAMILIAR: Police in Waikato, New Zealand, are looking for a 28year-old man who, they say, belongs to a local street gang. He has a massive tattoo on his face reading, “Mighty Mongrel Mob,” which starts just under his eyes, goes from ear to ear, and extends down his throat.
HOLD ON, OFFICER, I’LL BE RIGHT WITH YOU: A woman is suspected of placing more than 24,000 bogus 911 calls since the summer, including 200 on the day police showed up at her Bronx home and arrested her.
YOU THINK YOU CAN BREAK ME!? NEVER! A cat at an animal shelter in Houston apparently figured out how to open the door to the room in which he and other felines were confined, and would let them all out to roam through the facility several times a day. He was banished to the “integration kennel” to get “readjusted.” He immediately escaped.
STRANGE!? I’LL SHOW YOU STRANGE!! A man was thrown out of a strip joint in Indianapolis for “acting strange by standing over other patrons staring at them.” Once outside, he placed a gas can next to the building, underneath a gas meter, and tried to light it in an attempt to blow the place up.
HONEY, YOU FORGOT TO BRING HOME THE MILK: A man who was stopped in Tarpon Springs, Fla., for driving 90 mph in a 55-mph zone told police he was speeding home because he had just engaged in an extramarital assignation, and didn’t want his wife to realize that he had been cheating on her.
LATER, BRO, I GOTTA GET TO WEED CLASS: The University of Maryland is now the first in the nation to offer a degree in medical marijuana. It’s a Master of Science in Medical Cannabis Science and Therapeutics.
LEAVE? NO, I LOVE IT HERE: A 16-year-old boy refused to leave the Kmart in Yorktown, N.Y., from which he had previously been banned. Employees asked him to leave numerous times to no avail, so they called the cops. Then, he refused police commands to leave, fought with them and resisted arrest.
WELL, WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY’S IN LOVE, SIR: A man was caught trying to shoplift in a music store in Jamesway, Wisc., by stuffing a flute down his pants.