I steal the goods, you were supposed to check the car

The plan of a shoplifter and his driver to flee the scene of the crime was foiled when their getaway car wouldn’t start because the battery was dead. One of the men stole an armful of merchandise from a department store in Portland, Ore., then ran to the car where his accomplice was waiting. That’s when they were forced to ask other people in the parking lot for a jump-start, but deputies arrived before they could get it going. Inside the car, the cops found bags of clothing from other stores, laptops, phones, stolen credit cards, Oregon ID cards, a magnetic card reader/writer, counterfeit cash and drugs.

Just Calm Down, Baldy, And Get A Toupee: A Bald man got very angry and belligerent when a worker at a hair salon in Lawrenceburg, Ky., told him that no product existed “to bring his hair back.” The 6-foot-3, 250pound man started shouting at the woman and was arrested for disorderly conduct.

She Just Makes Me So Angry Sometimes:

A man, who took a walk to calm down after an argument with his wife, wound up hiking for a week, covering 280 miles from Como, in the north of Italy, to Fano — a beach resort on the Adriatic coast. Police were on the lookout for him because his wife had reported him missing. He said that he was shocked to find that he’d gone such a distance.

Excuse Me, Do You Have A Reservation?

A sheep strolled through the automatic doors and into the Premier Inn hotel in Holyhead, Wales, and roamed the corridors for a while until staffers caught the animal waiting in front of the first-floor elevator. They ushered it back outside.

A man, who was told his direct deposit hadn’t cleared yet at a bank in Ann Arbor, Mich., went outside, uprooted a mailbox, and tied the front doors shut with guitar string. He then began throwing various objects at the ATM outside. As bank employees called the cops, he picked up a chunk of concrete and threw it through the drive-thru window before pedaling away on his bike. The cops soon caught up with him.

You Seem Upset, Sir: Next Time, How About Just Dinner And A Movie?

A couple on their second date went climbing on Blencathra Mountain in Cumbria, England, and the man slipped and fell about 60 yards down the rocks while the woman became stranded on a crag. Rescue crews came and got them.