Equitable asset split not applicable to unmarried couples

I am not married but my boyfriend and I have lived together for five years and have a 4-year-old daughter. Recently we ended our relationship and he moved out. When we first moved in together, my ex bought a townhouse. He pays the mortgage and our cell phones. I pay the utilities, car loan and our car insurance. We only have one car because we always took the train to work. Both of our names are on the car, but I’ve always paid the bills.

He says he only has to pay the bills in his name and will not help with anything else. It just seems like he should have to give me some money toward our child’s expenses like food, clothes and preschool. What am I entitled to?

Let’s start with what you are not entitled to. Because you never married, you are not entitled to equitable division of assets. This means two things — you should be able to keep the car because you have been making all the payments. But, he gets to keep his townhouse and you do not get a share of it.

You are entitled to child support. You can Google Massachusetts child support guidelines worksheet and you will get a link to the trial court website where you can complete the form to see how much support you are entitled to. It is important to know that number as you consider your next move. If, as I suspect, the mortgage and other houserelated payments he is still making are higher than what you would be entitled to if he was just paying child support, do not rock the boat just yet.

You do not have the right to indefinitely occupy his home. I suspect he will eventually conclude that he needs a place to live too and cannot continue with this arrangement. That is when you should ask for child support. Until then, do what you can to plan for the eventual need to move. If you have the ability to buy him out of the townhouse and you want to do that, you can ask him to let you buy it so your child doesn’t have to move. But, if that is not an option, put aside whatever you can as you will eventually need to find a place to live with your daughter.

If you need to work more to save up, offer to let him spend time with her so you are not having to try to find a safe sitter during a pandemic. Also, you are going to want him to have a relationship with her going forward so the entire parenting responsibility does not fall into your lap. The sooner you start regular parenting exchanges, the better off everyone will be.

And you may just find he is more willing to allow you to stay in his townhouse longer if you encourage his relationship with your daughter.

Wendy O. Hickey has since 1994 been involved in and since 2003 been a trial lawyer who concentrates her practice on national and international family law. Any legal advice in this column is general in nature, and does not establish a lawyerclient relationship. Send questions to dearwendy@bostonherald.com.