Boston Herald

She may not be the best choice for a wife

- Mike Pingree

In an effort to make her exboyfrien­d jealous, a woman in Frankfurt, Germany, faked an elaborate wedding, renting an exclusive reception hall and using her friends to play bridesmaid­s. She posed for pictures with her groom-for-hire which she posted to her Instagram, so her ex would see them. She said he texted her the next day, “and freaked out. He came to my house and wanted to talk. I wasn’t interested.”

OK, A CHEESBURGE­R, A COKE … WHY AREN’T YOU WRITING THIS DOWN? A woman pulled into the drive-thru lane at a McDonald’s in North Yorkshire, England, even though it was closed and cordoned off, and was so drunk that she tried to order food from the police officer who came to arrest her.

SUDDENLY, THERE WERE COPS EVERYWHERE: A suspected drug dealer, being chased by the Thames Valley Police in England, jumped out of his car and ran into a building to hide, not realizing that it was the Aylesbury Police Station.

WELL, SHE WON’T BE NEEDING IT, OFFICER: A health care worker at a hospital in Birmingham, England, used a dead patient’s bank card to buy snacks from a vending machine 17 minutes after she died.

HONEY, I’M GOING TO GET VACCINATED; DON’T WAIT UP: The Zanzibar Tavern, a strip joint in Toronto, is now providing COVID-19 vaccines. No appointmen­t necessary.

WAKEY, WAKEY, EGGS AND BAKEY: A drunken 19-yearold broke into a Milwaukee Airbnb which had been rented by Montana sheriff ’s deputies who were in town for special law-enforcemen­t training. The deputies were sleeping at the time and later found the intruder sound asleep upstairs. They said the teen stumbled into the wrong home and had no idea where he was or where he had come from.

TRY AND STOP ME, OLD MAN! … WHAM! A young punk broke into the home of a 73-year-old man and threatened him and his wife with a knife. Unfortunat­ely for this young man, his intended victim was a boxer and a former Marine hand-to-hand combat instructor. A beating subsequent­ly occurred.

NOW THE WHOLE TOWN SMELLS LIKE BREAKFAST: A massive fire engulfed a dairy warehouse complex and sent 10-15 million pounds of melted government surplus butter flowing like a burning river through the streets of Madison, Wis. The butter had been piled six stories high in one of the buildings.

OH, WAS THIS YOURS, SHERIFF? SORRY: A woman stole a black Chevrolet Tahoe, that had been issued to the Guilford County sheriff, from in front of the police station in Greensboro, N.C. The Tahoe was unmarked, so she may not have known that it was a police vehicle. She was arrested a short time later.

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