Dear Abby: Wife never wears jewelry her husband buys

Dear Abby: I have been married to my loving husband for 28 years. We have a great relationship, and are soul mates. On holidays and birthdays my husband is generous, but he buys me jewelry that suits HIS taste, not mine. He likes a specific style I don’t care for, so it sits unworn in my closet. After all these years, he finally asked me why I never wear the jewelry he gives me, and I politely replied that I don’t care for that style of silver jewelry.

Well, last Christmas morning, what did I find under the tree? You guessed it! Another piece of that kind of jewelry. I kind of lost it and told him he was wasting his money, and I’d rather he would gift me jewelry that suits MY taste instead of his. I wasn’t intending to hurt his feelings, but I did, and he was very angry. Rather than honor my wish for something I enjoy, I’ll probably never see another piece of jewelry from him. (By the way, he does this with vacations, too. He makes reservations without my input.)

Was I wrong for finally expressing myself? Could I have handled it differently? — Not My Style in the South

Dear Not My Style: Your mistake was in allowing this problem to fester before leveling with your husband. The two of you seem to have a communication problem. He should have paid attention when you told him not to buy you any more silver jewelry, and he should consult you before unilaterally booking vacation reservations. But nothing will change unless you make it plain how you feel about these things, and if he is willing to listen.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com.