Has anybody seen the cat?
It’s supposed to debut on a bad-news day at the White House, but we’re still waiting
Where is the White House cat?
I only ask because we were specifically cautioned by White House press secretary Jen Psaki that the feline might appear when the going got tough.
“I’ve been joking, although maybe it might be true, that we’re waiting for a bad news day for that to come out. If you see a tail wagging coming out of the briefing room, you’ll know something bad is about to happen,” she said.
That was back in early June.
So what is the Biden administration waiting for?
Forget a bad news day — the president is running on a bad news month. He’s gone from being compared to Jimmy Carter to being likened to James Buchanan, the last Democrat president before the Civil War.
Biden’s latest poll numbers are devastating.
In a recent NPR/PBS NewsHour/Marist poll, Biden’s approval rating plummeted to 43 percent.
Given the reliability of polls (they tend to slant left, to put it mildly), you can only imagine what his approval rating really is.
Even so, Joe’s caregivers keep sending him out to stumble incoherently through teleprompter addresses on any topic except Afghanistan.
On Friday his coat holders pushed out a tired, lifeless Biden to brag about the latest dismal monthly jobs report.
According to CNBC, “Job creation for August was a huge disappointment, with the economy adding just 235,000 positions, the Labor Department reported Friday.”
Or, as the New York Post front-page headline described it, “Labor Day Weak End.”
But according to the 78year-old man squinting behind the podium, the Build Back Better plan is working.
Despite falling well below the economists’ predictions of 720,000 new jobs, Joe and his team of Ivy League legacies want you to believe that these numbers actually prove happy days are here again.
This is considered winning in Joe Biden’s America.
“We’re getting results!” Biden boasted, before babbling about taxing billionaires and defeating climate change.
According to Joe “the buck stops here” Biden, none of this is his fault — blame it on the delta variant.
Besides, why should he take responsibility for the horrific state of the country when everything is falling, not apart, but into place?
Maybe that is why we are not seeing any cat tails wagging behind POTUS, or Psaki, or Secretary of State Antony Blinken or National Security Advisor Jake Sullivan.
For example, most Americans might look at what is happening in Afghanistan and see a humanitarian crisis.
Thirteen U.S. service members and more than 100 Afghans are dead due to the terrorist attack at the Kabul airport. The Americans left behind are desperately trying to escape the Taliban.
The violent fundamentalist Muslim group is now equipped with billions of dollars worth of Blackhawk helicopters, infantry weapons and military drones.
Surely that sounds like bad news, right?
Not once the Baghdad Bobs in the Biden administration start spinning the news.
This withdrawal, the President declaims, was an historic success!
The airlift, Jen Psaki breathlessly extols, was the largest in U.S. history.
The evacuation, Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin announces, was both historic and heroic.
All in all, no need to order that cat-litter box just yet for 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Hold the Meow Mix!
Maybe the administration should consider giving me a chance behind the microphone.
I think I’m getting the hang of this gaslighting thing.
I’ll prove it.
You might have read stories about how, according to several Gold Star family members, Joe Biden checked his watched multiple times during the dignified transfer of the 13 dead US service members.
But I can #Psakibomb that headline.
Biden checked his watch 13 times during the dignified transfer because he is constantly working for the American people and is never off the clock. Plus, despite all appearances to the contrary, Joe can still actually tell time, which is a really cool bonus for the Leader of the Free World.
How about this headline from Axios, “Exclusive: Government can’t reach one-inthree released migrant kids.”
Sure that sounds ominous but it is nothing a bit of reframing can’t fix.
The government can reach two-in-three released migrant kids, which is over 66 percent.
We know where a majority of the illegal-immigrant minors are located. Job well done, team!
The more I think about it, we might not ever need a White House cat.
With news days like these, we might want to order some magnums of bubbly!