Dear Abby: From married pals to divorced pals to new couple

Dear Abby: My wife and I hope you can answer a question for us. Two couples we were extremely close with for more than 10 years were divorced two and three years ago. We have just been told that Husband A has been secretly dating Wife B for six months. Wife A and Wife B were “besties.” The men were good friends, but not best friends like the women. Both couples were married for more than 25 years. They are all in their mid- to late 50s. My question is, is there a code where you don’t date one of your friend’s exes? — Taken Aback in California

Dear Taken Aback: While divorce among long-married older adults (“gray divorces”) may seem shocking to you, it has become more common. Many women are more economically independent than they were in decades past. In the wake of the long COVID lockdowns, people have been re-evaluating not only their relationships, but also their career paths — and deciding to try something they feel might be more rewarding. The situation you have described is regrettable, but it is no longer shocking. Be smart. Remain on the sidelines and don’t judge.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com.