Imagine damage Gen. Milley could have done through history
Imagine if Gen. Mark Milley had pulled the same stunt he did with Donald Trump and China back in WWII. I did, and pictured this secret phone call between Milley, posing as Gen. Dwight D. Eisenhower, and German Gen. Erwin Rommel on the eve of D-Day.
Milley, calling France from London: “Hello, Rommy, You’re a tough guy to track down. No wonder they call you the Desert Fox.”
Rommel in a Calais bunker: “That was in North Africa, where I made my bones outfoxing you and the Brits. I’ve still got sand in my shoes. This is different, Mark. Here I’ve been moving around a lot dodging your surveillance planes.”
Milley: ‘Well, you did put up a pretty good fight in North Africa considering we had the upper hand and chased you all the way back to Italy. It was a righteous strike.”
Rommel: “Are you calling to rub it in? I thought you we were friends and colleagues. We are practically brothers in arms, even if we are in different armies.”
Milley: “No, no, nothing like that. I wouldn’t do that to a fellow professional officer. Besides, weren’t you promoted when you got back to Berlin?”
Rommel: “Ja, ja. Hitler made me a field marshal.”
Milley: “Well, I’m not a field marshal. We don’t have that kind of rank in the U.S. Army. Sometimes I act like one, though. You should see me in my full dress uniform. I have so many medals on my chest that I walk sideways. But that’s not why I’m calling. I hope this line isn’t bugged, Rommy, because what I have to tell you is confidential.”
Rommel: “Of course it’s bugged. This is Nazi Germany you’re dealing with.”
Milley: “Occupational hazard, I guess.”
Rommel: “You occupied Hazard? Never heard of it.”
Milley: “Never mind. I’m calling you to let you know that we might be coming over soon, if you get my drift.”
Romney: “I am expecting an attack. That’s why I’m in Calais.”
Milley: “That’s the thing, Rommy. We’re not attacking Calais. Look, Rommy, we’ve known each other now for five years. I promised you, if we’re going to attack I’m going to call you ahead of time. It’s not going to be a surprise.”
Romney: “Good, I hate surprises. But the last time we talked you told me there would be no attack. You said, and I quote, ‘We are not going to attack or conduct any kinetic operations against you.’ Mark, I don’t even know what kinetic means.”
Milley “It’s from the Greek. I went to Princeton, you know. It means attacking with a lot of energy. Like a Blitzkrieg.”
Rommel: “Blitzkrieg? That I know.”
Milley: “This is a matter of professional courtesy — one general to another. After all, you never know. We may be on the same team in the next war. My job is to prevent World War Three. That’s why I’m calling. I think our president is off his rocker and wants to attack China.”
Rommel: “China? What’s China got to do with anything?”
Milley: “Nothing. That’s the point. He’s gone mad. He wants to start World War Three when we haven’t even finished World War Two.”
Rommel: “He sounds like Hitler.”
Milley: “That’s the point, too. So, my advice to you is to get on your tank and head for Normandy. Because that’s where we’re going to attack at 0400 tomorrow, weather permitting. That way you will not be caught by surprise and lose your job — or worse. If we can fight for a tie, then we’ll both come out looking good.”
Rommel: “Mark, thank you. I owe you. Next time I am in Berlin I will see that you get the Iron Cross, first class.
Milley: “What are friends for?”