Dear Abby: Anti-gay fiance has woman reeling

Dear Abby: About a year ago, my fiance of six years revealed that he doesn’t think homosexuality is normal or right. I was shocked because he had never mentioned it before, nor did I see any signs he thought that way. We’ve gone to Pride celebrations, and we both have gay relatives and friends.

When we discuss how we will raise children, it always winds up in an argument. He doesn’t want them to be influenced by gay people on TV and doesn’t want me to “encourage” it. He did say that, after the child turns 18, he would accept what they “choose.” I’d like to teach my children to accept people’s true selves.

I have tried reasoning with him as to why there’s nothing wrong with gay people. Nothing I can say changes his mind. He was raised by a very “macho” father who thinks the same way. What should I do? Do you think a marriage would survive this kind of disagreement? Would therapy help?

— More Accepting in Calif. Dear More Accepting: Be glad your fiance has been honest with you about this — even if it’s five years late. One would think having gay friends and relatives would have shown him that sexual orientation isn’t something a person “chooses.”

Therapy can be helpful and provide valuable insight to those willing to admit they need it. I hope your fiance considers it. Children come out much earlier today than in years past, and it’s important they feel safe doing it. For your sake and theirs, get to the core of what is going on with this man, and decide what to do accordingly.