Boston Herald

Dear Abby: Should live-in boyfriend end his marriage?

- By abigail Van buren Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com.

Dear Abby: I have been with a man for the last six years. He has been separated for 20 years. When I asked him if he was going to finalize his divorce, he said no.

When I said I would like a commitment, he said he gave me one when he moved in five years ago. I said I want more. His wife even asked him for a divorce, but he said it’s expensive.

I told him by my upcoming 50th birthday I want a yes or no on the divorce. What should I do? — In Limbo in Massachuse­tts

Dear In Limbo: Assuming this man lives with you rentfree, you have spent the last six years with a houseguest who is more concerned with his net worth than your need for validation.

If his wife wanted a divorce, it would have happened already, and the issue of property division could have been bifurcated (separated).

Obviously, this arrangemen­t is serving them both in some way.

Your next step should be to make a final decision about whether the status quo is acceptable to you, because it isn’t going to change.

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