Boston Herald

Dear Abby: He’s putting a ring on it – and the ring’s a beast

- By abigail Van buren Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at

Dear Abby: While cleaning our bedroom, I found the engagement ring my boyfriend plans on proposing to me with. I didn’t know he was planning to ask me, and I’m thrilled he is going to. I haven’t even hinted I know anything because I don’t want to ruin the surprise more than I have.

My problem is, I hate the ring he chose. It’s beautiful, but, Abby, it’s so big. I like dainty jewelry, and it is the complete opposite of anything I would choose. What do I do? I love this man with my whole heart. He’s my best friend, and we have been there for each other through the lowest of lows and the highest of highs. We have great communicat­ion and always keep things completely honest between us. I suppose I should suck it up. He chose this ring for me, and I don’t want to hurt his feelings. Please tell me what to do.

— Disappoint­ed in Illinois

Dear Disappoint­ed: Congratula­tions on your upcoming engagement. Your problem is unique because most of the letters I receive about engagement rings come from women who are disappoint­ed that the stone is so small. However, if the size of the stone in the ring your boyfriend is giving you makes you uncomforta­ble, your response — after an enthusiast­ic “YES!!!” — could be, “But, darling, this stone is so large we will have to hire an armed guard to accompany me if I wear it outside the house. Are you sure it’s WISE for me to wear this every day? I would be very happy with something more modest, you know.” (It’s worth a try.)

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