Just because I’m high on drugs doesn’t mean I’m lying
A man under the influence of drugs and who hadn’t slept in several days told police in Punxsutawney, Pa., that he thought someone replaced the parts in his CD player in order to spy on him. He lives in Lancaster County, but says he doesn’t trust the police there so he drove across seven counties to report his suspicions in Punxsutawney. The cops found methamphetamine in his car and arrested him.
WhY are You Calling Me a liar!? Police in Portland, Ore., received a report of a man walking on the Fremont Bridge with his pants on fire.
the haPPiest DaY oF their Young liVes: A naked woman, who was high on drugs, jumped over the fence of a stadium in Jefferson City, Mo., and ran onto the field where two dozen eighthgrade boys were practicing football.
You again!? Immediately after being released from California’s Glendale City Jail, a 23-year-old homeless man stole a flatbed truck parked directly in front of the jail release door with the keys in the ignition. But the vehicle was equipped with a tracking device, which allowed officers to locate him and take him back to the lock-up.
Your taX Dollars at Work: The end of a romantic relationship between two Michigan lawmakers has caused the man to send very bitter text messages to the woman for almost two years, saying that he hoped her “car explodes on the way in,” and calling her “truly the worst human being I’ve ever met,” adding “I mean that with the utmost sincerity.” The woman has obtained a protection order from a judge. i’M healeD! it’s a MiraCle!
A man in Windsor Mill., Md., falsely claimed to be confined to a wheelchair so he could fraudulently collect more than $1 million in Veterans and Social Security benefits. He was caught, in part, because his social media account featured videos of him lifting weights at the gym.
noW You’ll Be together, sir: A heavily intoxicated woman struck a security guard in the face with a can of Red Bull while he was trying to throw her and her boyfriend out of a restaurant in Troy, Mich., after multiple complaints. The cops arrested her, so her drunken boyfriend drove to the lock-up facility — even though he had a flat tire — to bail her out, so they arrested him too.
at least hire a Valet: A prostitute has been evicted from public housing in Manchester, England, for using her home to ply her trade, prompting complaints from neighbors who objected to the “loud” sex at all hours. She hosted up to 10 guys at a time, and they would line up in their cars on the street beginning in the morning while waiting to see her.
heY, he Doesn’t look so tough … WHAM! Three men tried to carjack the vehicle of a guy outside a gym in in Stafford County, Va., attacking him with a wooden stick. Their “victim,” who was trained in mixed martial arts, responded with a furious attack, forcing them to flee.