Dear Abby: Hubby turns into a hothead with pandemic marriage

Dear Abby: My husband and I got married during the pandemic in a short ceremony. Our first year of marriage has been less a honeymoon than a nightmare. He tends to be hotheaded. He fights dirty with name-calling, which he had occasionally done previously, but it now happens more.

We are trying marriage counseling, but his temper tantrums and antics have made me see him in a different, negative light. He’s now talking about growing our family. He can be very sweet and thoughtful, but I don’t even know if I still like him.

I’m also wondering if I’m just better alone because I like my space and time to myself. Maybe I’m settling with the current situation when there could be someone better out there.

I know the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Is this something I need to give some time to see how it plays out, or should I end it, the sooner the better? — Honeymoon-less in New Jersey

Dear Honeymoon-less: The pandemic has stressed many marriages, but with =quarantines relaxing there should be less pressure and confinement. Has it helped? Whether your hot-tempered husband is capable of changing his behavior is something that may be revealed during the counseling.

You didn’t mention how long you have been seeing a therapist, but if it has been more than six months with no improvement, it’s fair to assume he isn’t likely to change, and the marriage should end. In the meantime, use the most powerful form of birth control you possibly can so you don’t find yourself pregnant and trapped in a marriage from which you cannot escape.