Hey, I think I know how to get some quick cash
Two convicted felons pulled a smash and grab robbery of an ATM by ramming a pickup truck into a business in King County, Wash., at 4 a.m., and were arrested after they did the same thing in Seattle five days later. A prosecutor said they may have done this a total of 60 times all across Washington state.
OF COURSE IT’S MINE, OFFICER, WHY DO YOU ASK? A man who reported to police that his pickup truck was stolen in Hilliard, Ohio, was arrested when the cops found out that the truck wasn’t even his as he had stolen it five days earlier.
AND WHEN DO YOU THINK WILL THAT BE, EXACTLY? A 55-year-old man has failed the standardized college exam to attend Sichuan University in China 24 times since 1983. Last year, he received a score of 403 out of 750. The minimum admission score is 521. He says, “I will continue to take the (exam) until it becomes obvious that my dream cannot be realized.”
HERE’S WHAT I
THINK OF DELAYS! … KABLAM! While police were investigating a road rage shooting on the eastbound I-696 Freeway in Detroit, an angry driver, who was stuck in the resulting traffic jam, carried out a separate road rage incident, firing his gun out his passenger side window into another man’s rear window, shattering it.
HEY SARGE, POLITICAL COMMENTATOR ON LINE 2: A man called 911 in Pinellas County, Fla., three times to inform officers that Mexican former drug Lord El Chapo should be freed from prison, and that President Biden should be incarcerated in his stead. He was arrested for misuse of the 911 system. Alcohol was said to be a factor.
I KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING ABOUT HIM THAT LOOKED ODD: A handcuffed man, who broke free from the back of a cop car in Altoona, Pa., and took off on foot, was found the next morning in Dauphin County while still handcuffed.
I’M FINE! KEEP YOUR
HANDS OFF ME! Deer in France have been getting drunk after over-indulging on spring buds that are loaded with sugar that ferments in the animals’ stomachs. Firefighters in Rouen rescued a deer that fell into the Seine River while intoxicated, and a crew had to rescue an inebriated deer in a garden near the center of the town of Vernon.
YOU’LL NEVER CATCH ME! … OOPS! A 53-yearold woman, fleeing police near downtown Rochester, Minn., after driving erratically and using a bullhorn to yell at people, plowed into newly-poured concrete that was part of road construction project, and came to an immediate stop.
CONGRATULATIONS, MA’AM, HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE EXPERIENCE: A 19-year-old woman refused to pull over for miles as police, with sirens blaring, chased her down for “speeding and driving recklessly” at 8 in the morning in Key Largo, Fla. When she finally did stop, she told the deputy, who was taking her to jail, that getting arrested had been on her bucket list since high school.