Son sides with wife & mom’s fuming

DEAR ABBY >> I’ve always been close to my children, but now that they are adults, it seems I’m losing my connection with one of them. He married a girl of a different race, and while that doesn’t bother me, I have a strong hunch she’s the reason he has distanced himself from not only me, but also the rest of the family.

When I recently shared with him that I felt his wife is a bit of a busybody and had overstepped some boundaries, he told me he no longer wants a relationship with me. I don’t think I said anything so bad that he’d totally remove himself from my or our lives, but I’m no longer going to try to force him to be a part of this family.

After I blocked his wife from social media (because she doesn’t interact, but stalks and then reports back to him), he has blocked me. I’m usually good at dealing with conflict, but he’s steadily drawing further and further away. I love all my children, but he needs to realize it’s not ALL about his wife — we’re his family, too. I really need help with this one. — Adult’s Mom

DEAR ADULT’S MOM >> Leaving your daughter-in-law and her race out of this for a moment, the situation you have described is one that sometimes happens when a son gets married. When that happens, the young man’s allegiance switches from mom and family to his wife. Your daughter-in-law reviewing your posts and discussing them with your son isn’t outrageous, particularly if he isn’t viewing them himself. Were you posting something she found hurtful or offensive? If the answer is no, you may have to accept that, for whatever reason, your son has decided to move in a different direction. If the answer is yes, offer an apology and see if it’s possible to bury the hatchet.